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Worst Song About Houston Ever

Poppahop

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MidtownCoog

MidtownCoog

Posted
Posted

That's pretty bad. But I have heard worse. My favorite Houston song is by Ronnie Milsap. "Houston Solution".

HOUSTON SOLUTION

I've got some friends down in Houston who know me quite well

They'll be more than happy to put me up for a spell

I can hang out or hide out whichever I choose

They won't ask me questions about why I've got the blues.

Chorus:

I've got a Houston solution in mind

All it takes is a call on the telephone line

And I can leave all these problems in Nashville behind

I've got a Houston solution in mind.

Well, my Daddy once told me you can't run away

Your troubles will follow and find you some day

There's no need to argue cause he's probably right

But I've run out of options and I'm leaving tonight.

Chorus:

I've got a Houston solution in mind

All it takes is a call on the telephone line

And I can leave all these problems in Nashville behind

I've got a Houston solution in mind.

I've got a Houston solution in mind.

I've got a Houston solution...

Lyrics > Ronnie Milsap Lyrics > Ronnie Milsap Houston Solution Lyrics

10) Stranger Things Have Happened

'Stranger Things Have Happened' was released in 1989. That album spawned the singles "Stranger Things Have Happened," "Woman In Love," "Don't You Ever Get Tired" and "Houston Solution." Of those, only "Houston Solution" did not go to number one. As with all of Ronnie's albums, the songs are great and all of the songs could stand on their own as a single. He doesn't record filler music. Everything he chooses to include on his albums are songs that speak to him musically.

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musicman

musicman

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The only song about Houston that I know of is Dean Martin's "Houston". It's not too bad.

Well it's lonesome in this old town

Everybody puts me down

I'm a face without a name

Just walking in the rain

Goin' back to Houston, Houston, Houston

I got holes in both of my shoes

Well I'm a walking case of the blues

Saw a dollar yesterday

But the wind blew it away

Goin' back to Houston, Houston, Houston

I haven't eaten in about a week

I'm so hungry when I walk I squeak

Nobody calls me friend

It's sad the shape I'm in

Goin' back to Houston, Houston, Houston

Goin' back to Houston, Houston, Houston

I got a girl waiting there for me

Well at least she said she'd be

I got a home and a big warm bed

And a feather pillow for my head

Goin' back to Houston, Houston, Houston

Well it's lonesome in this old town

Everybody put me down

I'm a face without a name

Just walking in the rain

Goin' back to Houston, Houston, Houston

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Vertigo58

Vertigo58

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Theres that other stupid one by I think its The Gatlin Bros. (country)

Hooooooouston, Houston means that I'm one step closer to you...

You listen to it as your racing down a country road in yer ford pickup swigging Jack Daniels, chewing Skoal and throwing bottles at people minding thier own business. stereotypical Texas :wacko:

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RedScare

RedScare

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We seem to fare better when Houston is merely mentioned in a song about something else.

The Grateful Dead, CCR and The Eagles come to mind.

Someone did a remake of The Standells "Dirty Water" once, substituting Buffalo Bayou for the River Charles and, of course, Houston for Boston. Anyone remember that? Came out in the late 80s.

Artist: The Standells Lyrics

Song: Dirty Water Lyrics (Doctored by RedScare)

(Spoken:)

I'm gonna tell you a story

I'm gonna tell you about my town

I'm gonna tell you a big bad story, baby

Aww, it's all about my town

Yeah, down by the river

Down by the banks of the Buffalo Bayou (aw, that's what's happenin' baby)

That's where you'll find me

Along with lovers, fuggers, and thieves (aw, but they're cool people)

Well I love that dirty water

Oh, Houston, you're my home (oh, you're the Number One place)

Frustrated women (I mean they're frustrated)

Have to be in by twelve o'clock (oh, that's a shame)

But I'm wishin' and a-hopin, oh

That just once those doors weren't locked (I like to save time for

my baby to walk around)

Well I love that dirty water

Oh, Houston, you're my home (oh, yeah)

Because I love that dirty water

Oh, oh, Houston, you're my home (oh, yeah)

Well, I love that dirty water (I love it, baby)

I love that dirty water (I love Hew-stun)

I love that dirty water (Have you heard about the Strangler?)

I love that dirty water (I'm the man, I'm the man)

I love that dirty water (Owww!)

I love that dirty water (Come on, come on)

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Saddleman

Saddleman

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That first song is awful, but the others listed are pretty good songs. Most any song's lyrics sound dumb when you read them w/o music. The Ronnie and Gatlin are especially good to dance also.

Wilson Phillips had a song named Houston on their big (only?) album.

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KimberlySayWhat

KimberlySayWhat

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MidtownCoog:

back in the day I used Kazza and AudioGalaxy to download every song about Houston. There sure are not very many.

I remember Kazaa. I used it and Napster all the time back when it was "free". That seems like such a long time ago. I kind of feel guilty about it now.

I have Dean Martin's Houston on my MP3 player (downloaded legally).

Wilson Phillip's "Fueled for Houston":

Fueled for Houston

I missed all my calls this morning

The coffee may still be burning

I'm in a yellow taxi racing down to LAX

Will you be next? I can't wait.

I'm moving around, moving around (I'm ready baby)...

I'm on my way...

Chorus

The jet is fueled for Houston

I'm coming for you, for you, for you, for you

I didn't bring my enemies or my worries

I'm on my way to you

The pilot says we're climbing

I can feel the engines burning

And it won't be long 'til I get down to Texas yes

The Wild Wild West

I'm on my way. Movin'around

I'm ready baby.... I'm on my way

Chorus

Movin' at a real fast pace, don't wanna slow down...

Movin' at a real fast pace, don't wanna slow down...

Movin' at a real fast pace, don't wanna slow down, 'til I see your face.

I'm ready baby...(Movin' around) I'm on my way...Aaaahhhh

Chorus

Spoken>

The Wild Wild West

Now really.

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Vertigo58

Vertigo58

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Posted
ZZ Top had "Heaven, Hell, or Houston". I believe in was on "Fandango".

Fandango, now that seems prehistoric circa 1974 ish? long hair days

I wouldn't be surprised if the "Chipmunks" had a Houston song too

or even scarier a DISCO Houston song you could do the Body Language, Robot or Double-Bump to :lol:

wow! and what if there were a hardcore pUnK song? (never know) local bands would know for sure.

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westguy76

westguy76

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Posted

I always think of the 'Beck' song from his album "Odelay"

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!

You only got one finger left

And its pointing at the door

And youre taking for granted

What the lords made on the floor

So Im picking up the pieces

And Im putting them up for sale

Throw your meal ticket out the window

Put your skeletons in jail

cause lord only knows its getting late

Your senses are gone so dont you hesitate

To give yourself a call let your bottom dollars fall

Throwing your two bit cares down the drain

Invite me to the seven seas like some seasick man

You will do whatever you please and Ill do whatever I can

Titantic, fare thee well, my eyes are turning pink

Dont call us when the new age gets old enough to drink

cause lord only knows its getting late

Your senses are gone so dont you hesitate

Move on up the hill theres nothing dead left to kill

Throwing your two bit cares down the drain

Odelay, odelay, odelay, odealy odelay, odelay

Just passing through

Odelay, odelay, odelay, odealy

Going back to houston

Do the hotdog dance

Going back to houston

To get me some pants.....

I don't know what the hotdog dance is but maybe he gets his pants at the galleria?

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Mister X

Mister X

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The best song about Houston that never was - was Gladys Knight and the Pips "Midnight Train to Georgia". It was originally titled, "Midnight Train to Houston but was changed because they thought the word "Georgia" sounded more musical than "Houston". Everyone knows I love Houston, but they were probably right to change it. "Midnight Train to Georgia" is a gorgeous classic.

I heard that on VH1's Behind the Music documentary series on the career of Gladys Knight.

Let us not forget Talking Head's "Life During Wartime" and Scissor Sister's "Music is the Victim". Not really about Houston, but it's in there.

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dbigtex56

dbigtex56

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It was originally titled, "Midnight Train to Houston but was changed because they thought the word "Georgia" sounded more musical than "Houston".

Originally it was titled "Midnight Plane to Houston". They changed not only the destination but the means of transport, too.

BBC reference

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Don Julio

Don Julio

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There's lots of great songs about our beloved city. Some that come to mind are:

Juke Boy Bonner - Houston (The Action Town)

Juke Boy Bonner - I Live Where the Action Is

Juke Boy Bonner - Struggle Here in Houston

Shelly Lee Alley and the Alley Cats - Deep Congress Avenue

Shelly Lee Alley and the Alley Cats - Houston Blues

Bar X Cowboys - Houston Shuffle

Prince Albert Hunt - Houston Slide

Walter Cowboy Washington - West Dallas Woman

Rob Cooper - West Dallas Drag

Bull Moose Jackson - Houston, Texas Gal

Link Davis - Big Houston

Link Davis - Bayou Buffalo

Benny Leaders - Houston, Texas Blues

Joan Brooks and Paul Brown - Headin' Back to Houston

Bill Guyton - Humble Road Boogie

Art Foster - Houston, Texas

Looise Burgess - Astrodome Song

Terry Lee - Houston, My Home Town (KNUZ promo)

...among others

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TheNiche

TheNiche

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Posted

Rodney Crowell released the "Houston Kid" album in 2001. 'Telephone Road' was one song on the album:

Rain came down in endless sheets of thunder

Lightning bolts split pine trees down to the roots

In the shadow of the Astrodome

With a hurricane coming on strong

We used to hit the streets and go swimming in our birthday suits

Skiing in a bar ditch behind a moped

13 stitches on the corner of a sardine can

We were dirt poor Houston kids

Our whole family living on the skids

But we always had a nickel for the coming of the ice cream man

Mosquito truck blowing up DDT

Barefoot heathens running wild and free

Air raid buzzer at a noon-day scream

Living in a dream

On Telephone Road

I used to love them cherry Cokes down at the Prince's Drive-In

and the cheeseburgers tasted so good I like to come untied

There's a Chinaberry tree I remember

I used to climb in and out of my window

The night I left was on the day before my Grandma died

Sawdust spread out on a dance hall floor

Jukebox ripping at an all-out roar

Barmaid smiling at a 10 cent tip

Living is a trip

On Telephone Road

Magnolia Garden bandstand on the very front row

Johnny Cash Carl Perkins and The Killer putting on a show

6 years old and just barely off my daddy's knee

When those rockabilly rebels

Sent the Devil running right through me

A drive-in movie in the trunk of my car

One-eyed sailor in an ice house bar

Spit-shine Charlie and ol' Peg-leg Bill

Are dressed up fit to kill

On Telephone Road

Telephone Road, Telephone Road

Brabecue and beer on ice

A salty watermelon slice

At the Little Taste of Paradise

On Telephone Road

And of course, there's Steve Earle's classic version:

Telephone Road

(Steve Earle)

My brother Jimmy, my other brother Jack

Went off down to Houston and they never come back

Mama wasn't gonna let her baby go yet

But there ain't nobody hirin' back in Lafeyette

I'm workin' all week for the Texaco check

Sun beatin' down on the back of my neck

Tried to save my money but Jimmy says no

Says he's got a little honey on Telephone Road

Chorus:

Come on come on come on let's go

This ain't Louisianna

Your Mama won't know

Come on come on come on let's go

Everybody's rockin' out on Telephone Road

Telephone Road is ten miles long

Fifty car lots and a hundred honky-tonks

Jukebox blastin' and the beer bottles ring

Jimmy banging on a pinball machine

Chorus

Mama never told me about nothin' like this

I guess Houston's 'bout a big as a city can get

Sometimes I get lonesome for Lafeyette

Someday I'm goin' home but I ain't ready yet

Chorus

...and then there's Mark May and the Agitators' version:

And you're only really hurtin yourself

Hanging down on Telephone Road

And I've taken a little time to find

Just to figure where I've gone wrong

Telephone Road, give my woman back to me.

[...song goes on, but this is all I have]

Guy Clark (notable for LA Freeway, which was about wanting to be in Houston) also did a song on the subject. 'Black Diamond Strings':

Chorus:

Black Diamond Strings

Black Diamond Strings

Drinkin' One W. Harper

Playin' Black Diamond Strings

Black Diamond Strings

Are like white flour and grits

You play Black Diamond Strings

Cause it's all you can get

Black Diamond Strings on a Catalog Guitar

That's pretty high cotton whoever you are

You break one you change one, that's as good as it gets

You can play all year long on two or three sets

J.W. Crowell was a hell of a man

He played two nights a week in a hillbilly band

He played at the Ice House on Telephone Road

And he played in the yard just to lighten his load

Chorus

Say hey J.W play that frogline

Let Rodney sit in, hell, he's goin'on nine

His fingers are bleedin but he's keepin'good time

Playi'Black Diamond Strings, he'll never quit tryin'

Causette told 'em both

You boys pack t up, it's time to go home

We got church in the mornin' it's comin' up dawn

Don't make me say it again or I'm gone

You can stay here forever, but you're gonna walk home

A last song about Telephone Road goes to Lifestyl feat. South Park Mexican for the song 'Some Girls'. Don't click on this link if you're at work. I won't post the lyrics here.

5 SONGS OF TELEPHONE ROAD!!!

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tomv

tomv

Posted
Posted

Warren Zevon mentions Houston and the surrounding area in a song called "My Ride's Here", released in 2002. Excerpts-

The Houston sky was changeless

We galloped through bluebonnets

Across the San Jacinto

My ride's here..."

While back at the Hilton, last but not least

Milton was holding his sides

Saying, "You bravos had better be

ready to fight

Or we'll never get out of East Texas tonight

I had the good fortune of seeing him in concert (for FREE) at Jones Plaza in 2000 as part of the sorely missed Party On The Plaza concert series. ( Under the "changeless Houston sky" ). He put on a great show. Obviously he is referring to that tour in this song.

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KimberlySayWhat

KimberlySayWhat

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I didn't know that about "Midnight Train to Georgia". I love that song, too.

If we're also talking about mentions of Houston in songs, we can't leave out Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious:

I'm about to break you off

H-town goin hard

Lead my hips, slap my thighs

Swing my hair, square my eyes

Lookin hot, smellin good

Groovin like I'm from the hood

Look over my shoulder, I blow you a kiss

Can you handle, handle this

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TheNiche

TheNiche

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Posted
You gotta be proud that Houston is mentioned in Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA"

RGV, where'd you go to elementary school? ...just curious on account of the Greenwood comment. They used to play that song over the PA system every morning at mine.

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TheNiche

TheNiche

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Posted
Niche, I moved to McAllen in the second half of fifth grade, but I attended Crockett Elementary B)

Nope. Not that one.

That was one of the ones that my mom, an employee of MISD, told me horror stories about, though. Was anyone you knew eating the 'raisins' on the floor? :mellow:

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