woolie Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Montrose1100,You'll make new friends in college. You can still keep in touch with old ones. Don't put yourself through that kind of hurt. You will constantly feel ostracized and alone, afraid. It will not be a comfortable experience. Undergrad should be the most exciting years of your life. You discover who you are and what your interests are. Even if you don't choose your career as an undergrad, the experiences in your young adulthood -- the first years of independence -- will shape the rest of your life. Don't waste it. Sexuality is such an integral part of our identity (even if it doesnt outwardly manifest itself into typical gender/orientation stereotypes), that it's unconcealable and you will never truly be friends with someone who won't accept you on arbitrary, moralistic grounds.Anyway, I'm straight, but people have many times assumed I'm gay because I tend to be a little overdramatic, loud, friendly, I talk with my hands and have a few other mannerisms, etc. I've always been extremely political liberal, and in high school that had me lumped in with the other 'dreamers and outcasts.' Since then I've typically had more gay friends than straight friends. So I've heard many of the variations of these and other stories, about being a gay (or otherwise 'different') adolescent. Life is hard enough as it is; don't make it harder.(edit: i don't know why I put someone else's name earlier... brain fart.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Wondering how you 'came out'? To friends, family, or co-workers. Was it a horrifying experience (were you outed?) or was it like a big relief ...?If you haven't come out, why not?If you know someone who came out, how'd they do it?I am not gay but good luck to your coming out. You should be able to be yourself without fear of what others might think or do.Work on being happy being you. If others dont like it... you know the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Montrose1100 Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Montrose1100,You'll make new friends in college. You can still keep in touch with old ones. Don't put yourself through that kind of hurt. You will constantly feel ostracized and alone, afraid. It will not be a comfortable experience. Undergrad should be the most exciting years of your life. You discover who you are and what your interests are. Even if you don't choose your career as an undergrad, the experiences in your young adulthood -- the first years of independence -- will shape the rest of your life. Don't waste it. Sexuality is such an integral part of our identity (even if it doesnt outwardly manifest itself into typical gender/orientation stereotypes), that it's unconcealable and you will never truly be friends with someone who won't accept you on arbitrary, moralistic grounds. Anyway, I'm straight, but people have many times assumed I'm gay because I tend to be a little overdramatic, loud, friendly, I talk with my hands and have a few other mannerisms, etc. I've always been extremely political liberal, and in high school that had me lumped in with the other 'dreamers and outcasts.' Since then I've typically had more gay friends than straight friends. So I've heard many of the variations of these and other stories, about being a gay (or otherwise 'different') adolescent. Life is hard enough as it is; don't make it harder. (edit: i don't know why I put someone else's name earlier... brain fart.) I actually wanted to go to U of H, but I hate the big classes. ACU has very small class sizes, and the professors are really friendly and interact with every student. And thats what I was really looking for when I went to college, since I have horrible ADD. And I know I'll make new friends there, most everyone is friendly, and not everyone is hardcore christian. Alot of girls go there to meet rich guys that they will eventually marry & raise a family with, and vise versa. I think PlayBoy rated it the "3rd Hottest College"... not that it matters to me, but there are alot of... 'balanced' and intellegent people. Thank you for your concern, Its nice to know theres alot of HAIF-ers that care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwilson Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I really wished coming out wasn't such an ordeal for people. Being who you want to be shouldn't have to be planned and plotted.I don't believe in the "i was born that way" line of thought, but I don't think anyone should be forced to live a lie either. Choice or predisposition.I know if I were gay, it would be much easier to come out to my mom than my dad, but I am pretty sure they would both be ok with me. They wouldn't agree with the lifestyle, but they wouldn't give me ____ about it either.Good luck Montrose. You don't know me, but if you need to talk, I'm available. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolie Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 UH has both large sections and small sections. You can carefully choose your schedule to be in mostly smaller classes. After my freshman year, I was never in a class with more than 30 people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I don't believe in the "i was born that way" line of thought, but I don't think anyone should be forced to live a lie either. Choice or predisposition.My family knew our cousin was gay since he was a little boy. My ex wife knew her sister was gay in her early teens. There may be people who choose but I think the mass percentage is predetermined. Disposed just sounds bad in this case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houstonmacbro Posted April 30, 2007 Author Share Posted April 30, 2007 I really wished coming out wasn't such an ordeal for people. Being who you want to be shouldn't have to be planned and plotted.I don't believe in the "i was born that way" line of thought, but I don't think anyone should be forced to live a lie either. Choice or predisposition.I know if I were gay, it would be much easier to come out to my mom than my dad, but I am pretty sure they would both be ok with me. They wouldn't agree with the lifestyle, but they wouldn't give me ____ about it either.Good luck Montrose. You don't know me, but if you need to talk, I'm available.Presumably you were born straight, yes? Why is it so hard to make the stretch that others were born the way you were, just ... different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Why are you patronizing me? If anyone knows my parents best, it would be me. Yes they have both expressed a bigotry towards homosexuals, one more so then the other.I promise I wasn't patronizing. I can certainly see your dilemma. Perhaps in the future, you'll be able to give them a dose of reality, and they will have to come to grips with it and hopefully be accepting, I wish you nothing but good luck Montrose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houstonmacbro Posted April 30, 2007 Author Share Posted April 30, 2007 I promise I wasn't patronizing. I can certainly see your dilemma. Perhaps in the future, you'll be able to give them a dose of reality, and they will have to come to grips with it and hopefully be accepting, I wish you nothing but good luck Montrose.I feel so lucky ... my family (immediate and extended) were pretty much okay with it after the shock of it... Mom is now one of my best friends. Same with sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. I've always had more 'issues' being 'accepted' by co-workers than anything else. I just feel weird about 'telling' them and all the repercussions it could have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I feel so lucky ... my family (immediate and extended) were pretty much okay with it after the shock of it... Mom is now one of my best friends. Same with sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. I've always had more 'issues' being 'accepted' by co-workers than anything else. I just feel weird about 'telling' them and all the repercussions it could have.Do you and others in the gay community feel it neccessary to "tell" people that you are homosexual ? I can see it if someone tells an off-color joke ,around the watercooler about homosexuals, which is always great, just to see the teller of the joke slinking back a little and his compadres who were listening so intently kind of turn and stare off into space like, "Uh-Oh!, smooth move Ex-Lax." I don't think I've ever met a man or woman that had to explain to me their perogative, I can usually figure it out if I spend any amount real time with them and get to know them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houstonmacbro Posted April 30, 2007 Author Share Posted April 30, 2007 Do you and others in the gay community feel it neccessary to "tell" people that you are homosexual ? I can see it if someone tells an off-color joke ,around the watercooler about homosexuals, which is always great, just to see the teller of the joke slinking back a little and his compadres who were listening so intently kind of turn and stare off into space like, "Uh-Oh!, smooth move Ex-Lax." I don't think I've ever met a man or woman that had to explain to me their perogative, I can usually figure it out if I spend any amount real time with them and get to know them.See ... that's just it ... straight people do not have the NEED to tell others. You do it all the time. You hold hands, hug, kiss in the line at the grocery store. That behavior would cause a riot on 1960 if I did it. And probably in downtown Houston as well.You understand? You do not have the need to come out because you live OUT all the time.Are you suggesting that we do the same? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WesternGulf Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Same with sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. I've always had more 'issues' being 'accepted' by co-workers than anything else.A lot of companies in this part of the region still have issues with adding sexual orientation to discrimination policies.I have a cousin in Atlanta that had the same feelings as you. His immediate family is pretty open minded and progressive but what he feared the most were his friends. The sad thing is, it took an act of attempted suicide for some of his friends to accept him. With that said I find it unfortunate how so many have a blind eye to suicide rates in this country because they still think someones sexuality is as black and white as a choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 See ... that's just it ... straight people do not have the NEED to tell others. You do it all the time. You hold hands, hug, kiss in the line at the grocery store. That behavior would cause a riot on 1960 if I did it. And probably in downtown Houston as well.You understand? You do not have the need to come out because you live OUT all the time.Are you suggesting that we do the same?I highly doubt in this day and age that you would cause a RIOT by holding hands in dowtown Houston. Seeing as how Houston is known as I believe the number 3 place in the nation as "gayfriendly", at least it was at one time. People living here KNOW that there is a large gay population. I don't think you would be burned at the stake if you were holding hands with your partner and gave him or her a little peck on the lips while walking through the Galleria. I tend to laugh at both sides of the coin for anyone who shows GAWDY and gratuitous displays of affection in ANY public setting. If it is a friendly hug or peck on the cheek and you move on, what's the harm ? But to sit there and lean on the ice rink's wall, with your hands in the other's back pockets and try to suck the other's face off, for cryin' out loud, go get a room at the Westin, it is only 100yds or so away, nobody wants to see that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeebus Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 See ... that's just it ... straight people do not have the NEED to tell others. You do it all the time. You hold hands, hug, kiss in the line at the grocery store. That behavior would cause a riot on 1960 if I did it. And probably in downtown Houston as well.You understand? You do not have the need to come out because you live OUT all the time.Are you suggesting that we do the same?PDA is gross on both sides of the fence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houstonmacbro Posted April 30, 2007 Author Share Posted April 30, 2007 PDA is gross on both sides of the fence.Agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmainguy Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Do you and others in the gay community feel it neccessary to "tell" people that you are homosexual ? I can only speak for myself. I don't have the need to tell anyone-I just live my life for what it is. The only times I feel it nessessary to discuss anyone's sexual orientation is when people start up the "gay agenda" crap [could someone PLEASE send me a copy???] or accuse gays of wanting "special rights" or the most common and irrational "you CHOOSE to be this way!." Uh...yeah...I love being a member of one of the most maligned segments in society...good "choice" BTW TJ...you better watch out admitting I'm your "...number one Gay,..." around here; you may get some nasty IM's from some of Puma's-er-"friends"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwilson Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I don't really want to a debate about why gay people are gay. I don't believe it to be a choice, but I don't believe it to be natural either. I believe it to be a circumstance of environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwilson Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I can only speak for myself. I don't have the need to tell anyone-I just live my life for what it is. The only times I feel it nessessary to discuss anyone's sexual orientation is when people start up the "gay agenda" crap [could someone PLEASE send me a copy???] or accuse gays of wanting "special rights" or the most common and irrational "you CHOOSE to be this way!."Uh...yeah...I love being a member of one of the most maligned segments in society...good "choice" BTW TJ...you better watch out admitting I'm your "...number one Gay,..." around here; you may get some nasty IM's from some of Puma's-er-"friends"... Here is your copy of the gay agenda: 7:00AM Wake up. 7:05AM Coffee. 7:10AM Shower 7:20AM Brush teeth, do hair, apply deoderant. 7:25AM Get dressed (well) 7:30AM Expect Special Rights 7:35AM Leave for work. 8:05AM Arrive at work. 12:15PM Go to lunch. 1:15PM Return to work. 5:35PM Leave work. 6:00PM Fix dinner while watching news. 6:30PM Watch Wheel of Fortune while eating dinner. 7:00PM Turn of BravoTV (god I love that channel) 9:00PM Check on special rights expectations. 9:35PM Nightcap. 9:50PM Brush teeth before bed. 10:00PM Watch episode of Sex and the City on DVD. 10:25PM Lights out. Rinse, repeat. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houstonmacbro Posted April 30, 2007 Author Share Posted April 30, 2007 I don't believe it to be natural either. I believe it to be a circumstance of environment.Explain...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumapayam Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I don't really want to a debate about why gay people are gay. I don't believe it to be a choice, but I don't believe it to be natural either. I believe it to be a circumstance of environment. Take that conversation HERE, we don't need ANOTHER thread to focus on this again. I am thinking there are 2 or 3 more similar. We have heard enough, stick to the topic. Explain...? Either PM him or ditto the thread above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwilson Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Take that conversation HERE, we don't need ANOTHER thread to focus on this again.I am thinking there are 2 or 3 more similar. We have heard enough, stick to the topic. Either PM him or ditto the thread above. My comment was a reply to someone else (though the quote didn't work). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevfiv Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Here is your copy of the gay agenda:7:30AM Expect Special Rights 9:00PM Check on special rights expectations. =) wow - of all the gay people i know, i have never witnessed special rights expectations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumapayam Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Here is your copy of the gay agenda:7:30AM Expect Special Rights 9:00PM Check on special rights expectations. 10:00PM Watch episode of Sex and the City on DVD. =) Okay, that is just plain stupid and unfunny. 6:30PM Watch Wheel of Fortune while eating dinner. And this does not even make sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwilson Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 wow - of all the gay people i know, i have never witnessed special rights expectations Okay, that is just plain stupid and unfunny. And this does not even make sense. It is sarcasm. Hence the other ridiculousness in the schedule. geez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HtownWxBoy Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I really wished coming out wasn't such an ordeal for people. Being who you want to be shouldn't have to be planned and plotted.I don't believe in the "i was born that way" line of thought, but I don't think anyone should be forced to live a lie either. Choice or predisposition.I know if I were gay, it would be much easier to come out to my mom than my dad, but I am pretty sure they would both be ok with me. They wouldn't agree with the lifestyle, but they wouldn't give me ____ about it either.Well, I know I was born gay... doesn't matter to me if you believe it or not. I didn't want to be gay... though now that I have accepted it I wouldn't change it for the world. It's not about "being who you want to be", it's about being who you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeebus Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 6:30PM Watch Wheel of Fortune while eating dinner.Awww crap.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumapayam Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 It is sarcasm. Hence the other ridiculousness in the schedule.geez. I definitely got the attempt to be funny with the sarcasm, but it just comes off as overly silly. It is one thing to really know what gay people do, and it is another to assume something ridiculous. We expect special rights also sounds more like a negative connotation than anything else. I applaud the attempt to be funny gwilson, it just did not work in this case. It's not about "being who you want to be", it's about being who you are. And you are a a great person. Good response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwilson Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Well, I know I was born gay... doesn't matter to me if you believe it or not. I didn't want to be gay... though now that I have accepted it I wouldn't change it for the world. It's not about "being who you want to be", it's about being who you are. Please don't take my position as a shot at you. It isn't. And I also don't believe you CHOSE to be gay either. I definitely got the attempt to be funny with the sarcasm, but it just comes off as overly silly.It is one thing to really know what gay people do, and it is another to assume something ridiculous. We expect special rights also sounds more like a negative connotation than anything else. I applaud the attempt to be funny gwilson, it just did not work in this case. I think you still somewhat missed the point. It was meant to be over the top and silly and inaccurate. There were no assumptions. It was MEANT to be ridiculous, as is the suggestion that there is a "gay agenda", which is what I was referring too. Now just LOL and make me feel better. My delicate sensibilities are starting to bruise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Please don't take my position as a shot at you. It isn't. And I also don't believe you CHOSE to be gay either.I think you still somewhat missed the point. It was meant to be over the top and silly and inaccurate. There were no assumptions. It was MEANT to be ridiculous, as is the suggestion that there is a "gay agenda", which is what I was referring too. Now just LOL and make me feel better. My delicate sensibilities are starting to bruise! Yeah Puma, or he is gonna call Elton John, and the velvet mafia will have to have a "word" with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwilson Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Yeah Puma, or he is gonna call Elton John, and the velvet mafia will have to have a "word" with you. I just spent 5 minutes giggling at the "velvet mafia" comment. I love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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