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gwilson

By gwilson
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Pumapayam

Pumapayam

Posted
Posted

Your Friday is not complete without reading a lame joke email forward. . .

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on h is 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

Here is the video version of the above with cartoonish impersonations.

CHICKEN CROSSES ROAD VIDEO

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Montrose1100

Montrose1100

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I hate planning for a party and everyone who R.S.V.P.'d isn't showing up!!!!

But its ok. I guess I will enjoy all the money on stuff I spent. ^_^ And when they do show up at like 10...

Abilene sucks. I'm sorry, but it needs atleast 200,000 more people before I can like this town.

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crunchtastic

crunchtastic

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[quote name='houstonmacbro' date='Sunday, August 31st, 2008 @ 3:44pm' post='274662

quite a while now. Especially KY warming, at least as evidenced by the ads I've seen on daytime network tv, complete with $2 coupons in the Sunday paper supplement. You know, those stressed out soccer moms need a backrub!

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Montrose1100

Montrose1100

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pointless, yes. Cheesy, check. But it's my guilty pleasure. He must have some deal going, he's on the cover of Men's Health like 4 times a year it seems. When he is, I am the furtive woman at the magazine stand in Borders looking at the pictures. Well, me and 3 or 4 gay men. One time I made embarrassing eye contact with a guy while rifling through the magazine, so I said "I'm getting workout tips!" and we both just bust up laughing cuz we were doing the same crude ogling and nothing more.

I know you guys watch bad movies just for the eye candy, too. ;)

Is that what pedophiles say during Powder or Jeepers Creepers 2?

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houstonmacbro

houstonmacbro

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Ok, I have had it with Gyms... I am getting a Bowflex. I just tried to cancel my membership at Power Shack Gym (in Abilene) and they told me I could only cancel If I move 50 miles outside Abilene... So I am going in there (again) tomorrow and tell them I'm moving.

Why did you want to cancel?

I gave up on gyms too. I got sick of the snideness and rudeness and felt that I was better off working out on my own. Bye, bye 24.

They comped me a month to see if I would change my mind.

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crunchtastic

crunchtastic

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Gyms, bleh. Ballys is the worst!!! Always trying to sell you on their lame, expensive, barely-credentialed personal trainers.

How do you workout at home guys do it? I'm having a really difficult time with motivation lately. I need a workout intervention to get back on track. How much does a real personal trainer cost? Someone who's not just going to talk on his bluetooth while I do stuff with the medicine ball.

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BryanS

BryanS

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Posted
Ok, I have had it with Gyms... I am getting a Bowflex. I just tried to cancel my membership at Power Shack Gym (in Abilene) and they told me I could only cancel If I move 50 miles outside Abilene... So I am going in there (again) tomorrow and tell them I'm moving.

Doesn't even come close to an actual gym. Nothing beats free weights and the specialized equipment in gyms...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Different topic...

I've been looking and looking for a truck... run across this ad on craigslist:

It's a truck. It's old. It runs great. Cold A/C. Take it or leave it.

I don't give a damn anymore. I have no use for it after buying a new truck. I probably won't respond to your email if you offer some stupid "low ball" price. I really don't care to answer any more emails about the stupid crap people think about. Yes I farted on the seats. Yes I spilled coffee on the floor boards. Yes I banged on the steering wheel when I sat in traffic for no reason. Yes my wife backed into a tree and dented the bumper and tailgate. Yes I know it's ugly - and I don't care. The truck is 13 years old. Don't be retarded - I could care less if your brother's best friend's cousin just bought the same truck for 1,000 bucks. If it was a piece of crap, I'd be selling it for $500 bucks. It's not - so I won't. Email me if you actually have a clue and $1,900 bucks. Don't expect too much information - the stupid people have ruined it for everyone else. Make a reasonable offer ($1,900) and I will share some more info and pictures if I feel like it.

Poor guy. I know what he's going through... I love his ad though.

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OkieEric

OkieEric

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Where's everyone putting extra money with this crappy market? emigrantdirect had a pretty decent interest rate for a while there, but it's down to 3%. I saw where I can get a marginally better return at a couple of other places, but that's about it. Surely there are some better options than savings or extra payments on the house?

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Montrose1100

Montrose1100

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Why did you want to cancel?

I gave up on gyms too. I got sick of the snideness and rudeness and felt that I was better off working out on my own. Bye, bye 24.

They comped me a month to see if I would change my mind.

Because its a small gym in a small Town... And I'm sick of running into the same annoying people... that and I hate the smell in the showers/lockers.

Whats wrong with a bowflex BryanS? I'm not looking to be any bigger, just toner. Its not like I use every piece of equipment in the gym anyways...

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houstonmacbro

houstonmacbro

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My take on gyms is that they're kinda divided up into 3-4 generic types:

1. Serious Gyms (i.e. Golds)

For body builders and other serious fitness nuts

2. Cruise Places Where Sex or the Pursuit of It Is On Everyone's Minds

One word: Bally's

3. See-and-Be Seen Gyms, but with Decent Workout Equipment and Moderately Serious Folks

24-Hour Fitness, Fitness Connection

4. I'm Rich Enough To Afford All of the Above

YMCA Downtown

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crunchtastic

crunchtastic

Posted
Posted
Where's everyone putting extra money with this crappy market? emigrantdirect had a pretty decent interest rate for a while there, but it's down to 3%. I saw where I can get a marginally better return at a couple of other places, but that's about it. Surely there are some better options than savings or extra payments on the house?

At the risk of sounding all tin foil hat, I'm just paying extra on the mortgage and buying some gold eagles when I can. I could swear I saw some small regional bank offering 4% on a $1,000 CD. But even most jumbos are only paying 4.5 - 5%.

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RedScare

RedScare

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Posted
Where's everyone putting extra money with this crappy market? emigrantdirect had a pretty decent interest rate for a while there, but it's down to 3%. I saw where I can get a marginally better return at a couple of other places, but that's about it. Surely there are some better options than savings or extra payments on the house?

Paying on the mortgage and bills. My truck and another bill will be paid off in December. One other bill will be paid off in October 2009. After that, the mortgage is the only bill I have. I round up on the mortgage every month, but after December, I'll add several hundred to the principal each month. The leftover may go to some safe account. Lot less stress that way. I literally could pay my bills working as a waiter (after December).

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houstonmacbro

houstonmacbro

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Is there any other form of energy besides electricity?

I know this is a weird question, but hear me out. We take gas and convert it to electricity, same with solar, wind, etc. But is there another 'form' that it could be converted to that would still give us power, or 'electricity' the only form of energy there is?

Let's say that Electricity is 'Form Y' ... is there another 'form' of power that we know about, but hasn't been widely instituted?

If so, why not?

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Montrose1100

Montrose1100

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Is there any other form of energy besides electricity?

I know this is a weird question, but hear me out. We take gas and convert it to electricity, same with solar, wind, etc. But is there another 'form' that it could be converted to that would still give us power, or 'electricity' the only form of energy there is?

Let's say that Electricity is 'Form Y' ... is there another 'form' of power that we know about, but hasn't been widely instituted?

If so, why not?

No sir... Electricity makes things work. Because its power. And theres only one form, and its from Mother Nature herself.

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BryanS

BryanS

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Because its a small gym in a small Town... And I'm sick of running into the same annoying people... that and I hate the smell in the showers/lockers.

Whats wrong with a bowflex BryanS? I'm not looking to be any bigger, just toner. Its not like I use every piece of equipment in the gym anyways...

Want better abs? If you looking to be more toned, Bowflex is nothing like the Hammerstrength crunch machine (that you use at a gym). Also, the whole "flex action" can only mimic the real thing (free weight exercise). No one uses every piece of equipment in a gym; however, the pieces that are used are better than any home gym.

Also, I love people who say they hate the gym because of the attitudes of others that go there. Is it a place to socialize? Or a place to workout? If you're there to get a workout in, then annoying, smelly people shouldn't matter. It's a gym. Likewise, if it

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OkieEric

OkieEric

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At the risk of sounding all tin foil hat, I'm just paying extra on the mortgage and buying some gold eagles when I can. I could swear I saw some small regional bank offering 4% on a $1,000 CD. But even most jumbos are only paying 4.5 - 5%.

Looks like it will be yet another rough day on the market, lol. Anyway, I did some digging around yesterday, and it looks like everbank has a pretty decent money market account with a 4.65% 3 mo intro and about 3.5% after that

Paying on the mortgage and bills. My truck and another bill will be paid off in December. One other bill will be paid off in October 2009. After that, the mortgage is the only bill I have. I round up on the mortgage every month, but after December, I'll add several hundred to the principal each month. The leftover may go to some safe account. Lot less stress that way. I literally could pay my bills working as a waiter (after December).

I've been splitting half towards extra principle, half into savings for most of this year. I've gotten pretty ridiculous on my car...let's just say it's been paid off since oh, about 2002? :) I used to make fun of my dad for being so cheap, and at 28 I'm already a bigger penny pincher than he ever was. Well, except on booze... Maybe I'll get a new car once the market goes back up and I feel the "wealth effect"

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OkieEric

OkieEric

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Want better abs? If you looking to be more toned, Bowflex is nothing like the Hammerstrength crunch machine (that you use at a gym). Also, the whole "flex action" can only mimic the real thing (free weight exercise). No one uses every piece of equipment in a gym; however, the pieces that are used are better than any home gym.

Has anyone else tried that ab coaster thing? I don't get it... You're supposed to go slow to avoid momentum, which I do, but I feel like I'm barely doing anything. They have them at the 24 hr in midtown

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sevfiv

sevfiv

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I hate the gym because it is boring, and because I do not want to pay money to be bored. I walk the dog, ride my bike, and if I feel like working abs, I'll do crunches. All free. All outdoors. Oh, I also mow my own lawn. Also free. Also outdoors.

Those are my main reasons - boredom and paying for something that is readily available in other forms. Plus I don't like sharing sweaty equipment with strangers.

I do have a rowing machine that doesn't take up much space that's easy to use for an alternative (and placing it in front of the TV/computer offsets the boredom).

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houstonmacbro

houstonmacbro

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I suppose we could just skip the whole gas-to-electric process... and just have gas-powered TVs, radios, computers, lights, etc. That would be nuts.

That would be so cool!

No, I guess I am asking is there another energy type that is just not used. Not sure really how to ask it. But if you think of electricity as the standard, is there another type of power that is a non-standard or never caught on...?

Nuts, I know.

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lockmat

lockmat

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Posted
I have a co-worker that does that. I do not mind it ringing but it's the constant reminder beep every 2 or 3 minutes that gets me! <_<

It wouldn't bother me so much if they didn't have it on the loudest setting. Vibrate is more than enough when you're in a quiet office.

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