Survival Guide For Newcomers

[Rio Grande Valley]

Hi, I am from McAllen, and currently at UT-Pan American. I will be transferring to U of H or Rice next fall, could someone give me kind of like a survival guide to living in Houston.

Edited December 11, 2005 by Rio Grande Valley

[TJones]

Hi, I am from McAllen, and currently at UT-Pan American. I will be transferring to U of H or Rice next fall, could someone give me kind of like a survival guide to living in Houston.

Rule 1) Make minimal eye contact with liberal leaning lawyers.

Rule 2) Don't shoot the finger at other motorists at rush hour, you think you are stuck in traffic now, try flipping the bird at someone then have to spend the next 45 minutes to an hour inching along side by side with that same person in the traffic jam.

Rule 3) Live as close to campus as humanly possible, you may want to check in with one of your profs. and see if you can set up a cot in one of their offices.

Rule 4) When someone tells you that Houston weather is horrible, tell them to wait 5 minutes, it'll change.

Rule 5) Utilize the beltway to get around town, it is your friend.

Rule 6) Pretty much everyone's opinions on this forum are like armpits, everyone has one, and they all stink.

Rule 7) Ask here and Ye Shall Usually Receive. any questios you may have will probably get answered here, it may not always be the right answer, but you'll get an answer.

Rule 8) Please try to go to as many places in this city by accident as you do on purpose, there are experiences waiting to happen all over Houston, but try to avoid the experiences culminating around any part of town that has the word "WARD" connected to it.

Rule 9) Try to go to at least one sporting event of each of our illustrious professional teams, it doesn't really matter if our team wins, half the people going are just there to peruse the "meat market" anyways.

Rule 10) Buy a detachable steering wheel for your car. Alarms just annoy your neighbors, and you'll probably run the risk of getting it keyed if it goes off because someone's "bumpin system" sets it off.

Rule 11) Make minimal eye contact with liberal leaning lawyers, I can't stress that enough. (psssssst, don't tell Redscare I told you about this ok. thanks.)

Rule 12) it is ok to go to Montrose it is "OK" to go hang out in a coffee shop or grab some lunch. You will not, I repeat WILL NOT, turn "Gay" just by going down there, you will have to have lunch or drink coffee with nmainguy or Montrose1100 down there a few times before that happens.

Rule 13) Don't argue with fellow forumers, half are leftwing nutjobs, who really don't have much of a social life and come here to converse, the other half are rightwing nutjobs, who really don't have much of a social life and come here to converse.

This should get you started on your "Survival Guide", but you don't really need to "SURVIVE HOUSTON" all you have to do is kick back and enjoy the ride, let it flow. Houston is like no other place on Earth, you will find out for yourself in due time. I'll let you gnaw on these 13 for awhile and I'm sure others here have the Rule book already and will be happy to add some more "Rules" here for you.

[KimberlySayWhat]

Rule 6) Pretty much everyone's opinions on this forum are like armpits, everyone has one, and they all stink.

At its worst, mine smell like Dairy Queen hamburgers. I smell good pretty much all the time.

[sevfiv]

hi and welcome!

re: driving:

- the 610 loop is your friend, except the west part by the galleria / I-10...avoid it like the plague!

- don't expect any driver to know what the concept of "merging" is

oooh, and to echo TJones, definitely live close to campus!

in order to give more recommendations, it would help to know a little more about you...

- will you be working, and if so, where/what?

- what types of things do you like to do in your free time?

[MarthaG]

Hello Rio...Welcome to Houston.

I'll have to agree with everything TJones says except # 11... (it repeats # 1) so he really owes you one more.

Oh, I do not use the Beltway...because I live closer to town... I use 610 loop most of the time. The West part by the Galleria looks bad, but really it travels pretty good now. I drive that part everyday.

[editor]

Get a toll tag. The time you save not sitting in traffic is worth the money.

Live close to campus. The time you save not sitting in traffic is worth the money.

Load up on boric acid. It's the only stuff I ever found that stopped Houston roaches.

Explore. Explore. Explore.

[TJones]

At its worst, mine smell like Dairy Queen hamburgers. I smell good pretty much all the time.

Why are you carrying Dairy Queen burgers under your pits ?

Edited December 12, 2005 by TJones

[KimberlySayWhat]

Why are you carrying Dairy Queen burgers under your pits ?

I realize I shouldn't have said that. It was gross and inappropriate. I apologize.

[Rio Grande Valley]

in order to give more recommendations, it would help to know a little more about you...

- will you be working, and if so, where/what?

- what types of things do you like to do in your free time?

Well, i am going to be majoring in architecture, so I'll probably look for a part-time job on campus or near school. I have been playing the piano for nearly eight years now, I am wanting to learn to play jazz piano. Yeah, thats what I do on my free time.

Edited December 12, 2005 by Rio Grande Valley

[TJones]

I realize I shouldn't have said that. It was gross and inappropriate. I apologize.

no,no, it wasn't gross, I figured maybe you just ran out of hands, trying to hold the fries and drinks, I guess the burgers under your arms is the next logical place, they are flat, and you would be able to get a grip on them by vicing them with your arms.

[RedScare]

Rule 6) Pretty much everyone's opinions on this forum are like armpits, everyone has one, and they all stink.

TJ, sorry to hear about your disability. I, in fact, have TWO armpits.

Come to think of it, I have two opinions too, but that may be because I am a lawyer.

[pineda]

Jazz Houston website

I recommend checking out Cezanne for great jazz in the Houston area!

Edited December 12, 2005 by pineda

[Houston19514]

hi and welcome!

re: driving:

- don't expect any driver to know what the concept of "merging" is

I am always surprised by comments like this on these boards. My experience in Houston has generally been quite the opposite. Generally, I have found that if I signal, Houston drivers are quite courteous and will let me in, expecting nothing more than a friendly Texas thank-you wave. Quite contrary to my experience in certain other cities.

[TJones]

TJ, sorry to hear about your disability. I, in fact, have TWO armpits.

Come to think of it, I have two opinions too, but that may be because I am a lawyer.

I wasn't going to be abusive and use the common cliche Red, you will be happy to know that I am on the waiting list for the armpit transplant procedure, just waitng for a donor though, thank you for your concern.

I am always surprised by comments like this on these boards. My experience in Houston has generally been quite the opposite. Generally, I have found that if I signal, Houston drivers are quite courteous and will let me in, expecting nothing more than a friendly Texas thank-you wave. Quite contrary to my experience in certain other cities.

You are correct, it only works IF YOU SIGNAL though ! If you don't signal, then you get the customary one-finger wave !

Edited December 12, 2005 by TJones

[Rio Grande Valley]

Guys, thanks a lot for the advice. I really appreciate it.

[KimberlySayWhat]

no,no, it wasn't gross, I figured maybe you just ran out of hands, trying to hold the fries and drinks, I guess the burgers under your arms is the next logical place, they are flat, and you would be able to get a grip on them by vicing them with your arms.

Actually, I don't eat hamburgers. I eat turkeyburgers (only if they're grilled outside). I'm not some animal rights nut, I just don't dig beef.

[RedScare]

Actually, I don't eat hamburgers. I eat turkeyburgers (only if they're grilled outside). I'm not some animal rights nut, I just don't dig beef.

If you eat turkeyburgers instead of hamburgers, you probably wouldn't be an animal rights nut.

[TJones]

Actually, I don't eat hamburgers. I eat turkeyburgers (only if they're grilled outside). I'm not some animal rights nut, I just don't dig beef.

Now, eating a "turkeyburger", that IS gross. somebody get PeTA on the phone ! Think I am gonna go get a double Beltbuster from DQ and think of you tonight Kim.

[editor]

At least the cows can run. Veggieburgers are just cruel.

[Rio Grande Valley]

Every time I mention to my cousin that I'm going to Houston, he always has to tell me about flooding here. How bad does the flooding get here?

[KimberlySayWhat]

Veggieburgers are not that bad. Chilli's used to have a good one. Maybe they still do.

Turkeydogs are also VERY good grilled.

Now, eating a "turkeyburger", that IS gross. somebody get PeTA on the phone ! Think I am gonna go get a double Beltbuster from DQ and think of you tonight Kim.

I agree. Unless they're cooked on an outdoor grill, I can't eat them. I tried it the other day from a skillet and could hardly finish half. BBQ pit makes all the difference. They're excellent from the grill. Otherwise they do have that bird taste. The same way chicken also tastes sometimes when it's cooked anywhere other than an outdoor grill.

Now, a Beltbuster; I don't know what that is, but that sounds nasty. Eat a Blizzard instead and think of me. Blizzards rock my world.

I'm sorry, Rio Grande Valley, for hijacking your thread. No more.

[editor]

Every time I mention to my cousin that I'm going to Houston, he always has to tell me about flooding here. How bad does the flooding get here?

It's kind of random. Even without hurricanes and tropical storms, Houston can have some serious flooding problems. One place I worked at was near Buffalo Bayou downtown. Our offices flooded three times from 1999-2000 just from big thunderstorms that hit the bayou just right. Three times they had to cut out all the sheetrock and replace the carpeting. But after that it didn't happen again until Allison.

So I guess what I'm saying is that there's no way to predict how much flooding you will encounter. Some years there is flooding. Some years there isn't. Some places get flooded. Some places don't. I don't want to say it's a crapshoot, because I think you chances are greater than that, but it's not the sort of thing I'd lose sleep over. Like anyone else, just make sure you're insured. If you need an agent, I recommend the State Farm guy in Midtown. When an illegal alien mashed up my car he took great care of me.

[Rio Grande Valley]

I have a question for you forumers. Do you all communicate solely online or do ever see each other in person? Because it seems to me that you guys spend a whole lot of time here.

[KimberlySayWhat]

I've never met any of these people that I'm aware of. We're on here a lot because we have no lives.

[nmainguy]

I have a question for you forumers. Do you all communicate solely online or do ever see each other in person? Because it seems to me that you guys spend a whole lot of time here.

All of the people here are clearly dangerous-except me. TJones and his 13 rules are straight out of Bellville.

He cannot be trusted. I know this for a fact because the plate in my head told me. EVERYONE here knows that.

Seriously, go to Rice. You will love it. Live within walking/biking distance. Take a date on the train downtown from the Sunset station-I wish that were available when I was there. Walk to the museums; to the parks; to the zoo. Just knock yourself out!

[Original Timmy Chan's]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't UH's College of Architecture better respected than Rice's? I swear I've read that UH has one of the top 2 Architecture schools in the state (if not the best).

Of course, I'm a diehard Coog, and obviously biased.

If I were you RGV, I'd live on campus at UH. Don't spend too much time with the Rat-eaters at Rice, they're a strange bunch. As for Rice Village, if you're gonna hang out there, don't forget your American Express. $hit ain't cheap there.

[sevfiv]

^^i agree about that - unless you are accepted and have scholarships to rice, i would start out with UH. not sure about graduate level work, though...

and re:

I have a question for you forumers. Do you all communicate solely online or do ever see each other in person? Because it seems to me that you guys spend a whole lot of time here.

i think alot of us hang out here while at work (shhh) and maybe even more of us are insomniacs...heh

[editor]

I have a question for you forumers. Do you all communicate solely online or do ever see each other in person? Because it seems to me that you guys spend a whole lot of time here.

I ran into Danax at Central Intake late one Saturday night. I shanked him just to prove I was king of the cell.

[TJones]

I ran into Danax at Central Intake late one Saturday night. I shanked him just to prove I was king of the cell.

^^^Oh, and I'M the dangerous one huh nmain ?^^^

[Montrose1100]

Rule 12) it is ok to go to Montrose it is "OK" to go hang out in a coffee shop or grab some lunch. You will not, I repeat WILL NOT, turn "Gay" just by going down there, you will have to have lunch or drink coffee with nmainguy or Montrose1100 down there a few times before that happens.

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