hows the inter-racial dating scene tolerated?

[houstonmacbro]

Two of my best friends are a heterosexual couple that's interracial -- he's Caucasian, she's African American. It's never been much of an issue for them.

As for being stared at when out with a boyfriend in public, that's happened to me in Houston, but no more than elsewhere. In fact, the most aggressive harassment I've ever had about being gay was from someone in Seattle who yelled "FAGOTS!" rather loudly at my boyfriend and I and then started ranting about gay people. We just ignored it and kept walking.

Some people are just ignorant and aren't worth responding to. He sounds like one of them.

[Kiss]

a little twist on this...

if you are a black man, with a white woman, the black women are going to give you and or her a look. houston isn't the only place you'll get that, of course, but you will get it. ESPECIALLY if you are a good looking man or a man who looks like he might make a high six figure income.

as far as other races, no one will really look at you any differently as an interracial couple... but to say no one cares isn't exactly true, either. they just keep mum about it.

TAK a.k.a. Kanye....your post made me giggle

way to go on the "gold digger" stereotype

being a biracial woman(black/hispanic) married to a black man, WOMEN period give the look.

some black women don't consider me black enough

hispanic women(oh and don't get me started on the men)look at me with disdain and disgust.

usually gringo amiga types don't give a darn.

like someone previous mentioned, i too am of the disposition that it matters none what others think. i do have some friends who are a bi-racial couple(he:blk/she:cauc) that moved to Pearland from D.C. and have since returned because the wife was not comfortable with her perception of the lack of acceptance. get thicker skin i say!

p.s. interracial children are beautiful...i'm living proof!

(ok before i get hit up with PM's requesting pics...it's 2:40 a.m. and i'm giddy off of cold/flu meds and/or hot totty..totall being facetious)

[houstonmacbro]

hispanic women(oh and don't get me started on the men)look at me with disdain and disgust.

Yeah, oddly enough I get that look from (many) Hispanics with our without my partner.

[sifuwong]

On the flip side, i've seen some ugly looking biracial children. Only the good looking ones are publicized with photos that you see on tv,etc.

[713 To 214]

Why is race such a prevailing concern around here? It always seems to be our African American posters who are constantly bringing it up, too. What gives? People are people.

[sowanome]

Why is race such a prevailing concern around here? It always seems to be our African American posters who are constantly bringing it up, too. What gives? People are people.

B/C "OUR African American" posters are effected by it on a daily basis........ It's just the way the world was built. They just have to live with it eventhough it really sucks. It'll take another 100 years for things to really change b/c parents are still teaching right from wrong how white is more superior than brown or black..... It's just AMERICA

[Kiss]

On the flip side, i've seen some ugly looking biracial children. Only the good looking ones are publicized with photos that you see on tv,etc.

there's plenty of UGLY no matter what culture one is(beauty being only skin deep right) a little ridiculous to say ONLY. but maybe it's your social circle. i see an example (outside of my home) DAILY. oh and just maybe your perception of attractiveness is very different than most.

Why is race such a prevailing concern around here? It always seems to be our African American posters who are constantly bringing it up, too. What gives? People are people.

Not sure if an African American began the thread, but ultimately it's about INTER-RACIAL dating so would that imply that possibly a NON African American may even have concern? there were several responses from NON African Americans so the dialogue convinces me it's not so exclusive with regard to concern.

[houstonmacbro]

Why is race such a prevailing concern around here? It always seems to be our African American posters who are constantly bringing it up, too. What gives? People are people.

Because honestly, as a black man in America you are made to feel a little less than normal. College educated, good job ... whatever. Everyday, you (at least I) in some form or another are made to feel a less desirable and somewhat outside the American mainstream, no matter how much I fight to get in it.

Once inside it, you don't always feel welcome. The looks, the stares, the comments (in and out of the workplace) ... presumptions about your background and upbringing. I don't mean to get into a whole debate about race and racism in America (we all know how those go), but in subtle and sometimes less subtle ways you are made to feel unwelcome, unwanted, and sometimes something to be afraid of.

Just the way of the world I guess.

[houstonmacbro]

... but ultimately it's about INTER-RACIAL dating so would that imply that possibly a NON African American may even have concern? there were several responses from NON African Americans so the dialogue convinces me it's not so exclusive with regard to concern.

Yeah, I know quite a few Hispanics (all races) and Indians that go through some of the same things when dating outside their race. Some of the stories I've heard.

Oh, and don't think it's all whites directed at 'so called' minorities. Sometimes it is the other way around when a 'minority' child brings home a white (or other race) partner. LOL

That's when things REALLY get interesting.

[CDeb]

Everyday, you (at least I) in some form or another are made to feel a less desirable and somewhat outside the American mainstream

.............

but in subtle and sometimes less subtle ways you are made to feel unwelcome, unwanted, and sometimes something to be afraid of.

Huh, sounds like what it's like to be a Catholic nowadays

[musicman]

Huh, sounds like what it's like to be a Catholic nowadays

LOL true.

[worldlyman]

San Diego is only 6% African American last I check versus Houstons 18% Whites in San Diego account for over 70% as they do in Houston. What I have observed since moving here . . . And I am speaking strictly adults . . .

People here do not tend to mingle out of there circle in my opinon. When I met people when I moved here, and they would bring me around there social circle (or I observed this from afar) - everyone was pretty much from the same race, background, etc . . . Didn't see a lot of "diversity" in the social circles of locals.

San Diego, LA, San Francisco - It seems like many races were/are represented from every ethnic group when observing & being apart of social groups. People seemed more "open" in welcoming a person in.

Yeah, downtown here may have Latinos and African Americans - but are they socializing TOGETHER or in different clubs? Are the clubs representative of Houston or just one group who patronizes the establishment?

I'm not knocking Houston, however I still believe that many adults (locals) stay within there circle. I don't see many people venturing out to diversify their circle.

Whites in Houston are now about 49% based on the 2000 census.

San Diego, I don't know where you get that. I lived there 4 years and Filipinos hung out with Filipinos and generally white people partied in the Gas Lamp, Hillcrest and Pacific Beach...no blacks, Asians or Latinos en masse in San Diego's downtown scene. At least in Houston, Latinos, Asians and blacks all shared the same district. How's San Diego any better?

I think people are down on Houston because of what they want to think of it. It is just Houston, or Texas, and no matter the facts are, it's just a prejudiced place (or just because those snooty Californians say so). But I don't see that based on my experiences and how things are really laid out.

I find Houston to be FAR LESS segregated than San Diego. Now that's one place that has some serious socio-economic segregation issues compared to Houston. As I've said, I've lived out there and no one wants me to get started on that.

Even compared to L.A., look how Pakistanis, African-Americans and such live far from say, the Chinatown in the SG Valley or Little Saigon in OC. There's no fu fu or soul food anywhere near those Asian businesses in that part of L.A. Then notice in Houston how New Chinatown (which is Houston's equivalent of the SG Valley) has lots of African and Pakistani businesses very close by on the parallel streets! Things like Ethiopian Soul Food or an African Food Store sitting in Houston Asian strip centers which have pho and karaoke. I never saw that in L.A.'s Chinatowns, driving down Atlantic or such.

I mean, why is it just partying white people in the Sunset Strip or in Old Town Pasadena and Santa Monica Main St. for the most part? As I've said, at least the partygoers en masse of different colors have shared the same district in Houston, whether that was the Richmond Strip, Shepherd Plaza and downtown Houston.

My own large circle friends had Russians, Hong Kong Chinese, Miami Cubans, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Filipino-Americans, Chicago Poles, Mexicans, Jamaicans as well as good ol' Native Texans.

If that isn't race mixing in H-town back in the good old Alief days of my youth, then I don't know what is. Elsik High School had so many kids from Vietnam, the Philippines, Hong Kong, El Salvador etc. as well as the incoming kids from Florida and Ohio and from what we experienced, it was a pretty cool time. There was conflict based on social category (kikkers, jocks, new wavers, jell-heads and what not) but not on race.

Adults, kids, what does it really matter? I think Houston is one of the least segregated places in America. Black Enterprise rated Houston a couple of times as the best city for blacks. The Los Angeles Times in Dec. 21 2007 pointed out in an article that Asians are flocking to Houston ("Flocking from SoCal to Houston"). Chinese street signs abound along Bellaire Blvd, Vietnamese near downtown...(and they do not in Los Angeles). If Houston is so racist and backward, why do these favorable or noticeable conditions exist here?

Now, in SoCal, I knew of Filipinos who only hung out with people of Filipino extraction. I know this one 25 year-old Filipino chick who always brought Filipino CDs to work and she didn't even know who the hell John Lennon was! (I mentioned that to her two years ago on his death anniversary.)

In Laguna Beach/San Juan Capistrano and other such snooty Southern OC areas...my wife, her friend and I went to a Starbucks in late 2005. Some white girls were sitting al fresco and I got bad vibes from them. So my wife and I went in to get our order while the friend stayed outside. When we got out, my wife's friend said that those girls uttered, "Filipinos are assholes."

Now, I've never heard that remark from a white person in Houston in my 20 some years of living here. Not even close. In fact, in 1990, this pretty white girl named Tracy, a native Texan, actually made a list of Filipino phrases for herself when Filipino nurses started flocking to Memorial City Hospital where I once worked. A beautiful blond dancer at Centerfolds who thought I was a "cutie" allowed me to kiss and fondle her breasts while telling me "Mahal Kita" (Filipino for "I Love You") though she didn't have to say that because I'm not Philippine-born and I don't speak Tagalog.

These anecdotes divulge a lot to me regarding Houston's place in race relations. Houston simply did not have a history of "No Dogs, Chinks or Flips Allowed" like it did in California.

In SoCal, especially in Southern OC and Northern SD, they PRETEND not to be prejudiced. At least in Huntsville or Corsicana, Texas, they're HONEST about what they feel, from what I've observed.

California is the least racist, or so the legend goes. NOT!

[houstonmacbro]

The good thing about Houston is that it is trying to be modern and cosmopolitan and socially progressive.

[satriela]

Whites in Houston are now about 49% based on the 2000 census.

San Diego, I don't know where you get that. I lived there 4 years and Filipinos hung out with Filipinos and generally white people partied in the Gas Lamp, Hillcrest and Pacific Beach...no blacks, Asians or Latinos en masse in San Diego's downtown scene. At least in Houston, Latinos, Asians and blacks all shared the same district. How's San Diego any better?

I think people are down on Houston because of what they want to think of it. It is just Houston, or Texas, and no matter the facts are, it's just a prejudiced place (or just because those snooty Californians say so). But I don't see that based on my experiences and how things are really laid out.

I find Houston to be FAR LESS segregated than San Diego. Now that's one place that has some serious socio-economic segregation issues compared to Houston. As I've said, I've lived out there and no one wants me to get started on that.

Even compared to L.A., look how Pakistanis, African-Americans and such live far from say, the Chinatown in the SG Valley or Little Saigon in OC. There's no fu fu or soul food anywhere near those Asian businesses in that part of L.A. Then notice in Houston how New Chinatown (which is Houston's equivalent of the SG Valley) has lots of African and Pakistani businesses very close by on the parallel streets! Things like Ethiopian Soul Food or an African Food Store sitting in Houston Asian strip centers which have pho and karaoke. I never saw that in L.A.'s Chinatowns, driving down Atlantic or such.

I mean, why is it just partying white people in the Sunset Strip or in Old Town Pasadena and Santa Monica Main St. for the most part? As I've said, at least the partygoers en masse of different colors have shared the same district in Houston, whether that was the Richmond Strip, Shepherd Plaza and downtown Houston.

My own large circle friends had Russians, Hong Kong Chinese, Miami Cubans, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Filipino-Americans, Chicago Poles, Mexicans, Jamaicans as well as good ol' Native Texans.

If that isn't race mixing in H-town back in the good old Alief days of my youth, then I don't know what is. Elsik High School had so many kids from Vietnam, the Philippines, Hong Kong, El Salvador etc. as well as the incoming kids from Florida and Ohio and from what we experienced, it was a pretty cool time. There was conflict based on social category (kikkers, jocks, new wavers, jell-heads and what not) but not on race.

Adults, kids, what does it really matter? I think Houston is one of the least segregated places in America. Black Enterprise rated Houston a couple of times as the best city for blacks. The Los Angeles Times in Dec. 21 2007 pointed out in an article that Asians are flocking to Houston ("Flocking from SoCal to Houston"). Chinese street signs abound along Bellaire Blvd, Vietnamese near downtown...(and they do not in Los Angeles). If Houston is so racist and backward, why do these favorable or noticeable conditions exist here?

Now, in SoCal, I knew of Filipinos who only hung out with people of Filipino extraction. I know this one 25 year-old Filipino chick who always brought Filipino CDs to work and she didn't even know who the hell John Lennon was! (I mentioned that to her two years ago on his death anniversary.)

In Laguna Beach/San Juan Capistrano and other such snooty Southern OC areas...my wife, her friend and I went to a Starbucks in late 2005. Some white girls were sitting al fresco and I got bad vibes from them. So my wife and I went in to get our order while the friend stayed outside. When we got out, my wife's friend said that those girls uttered, "Filipinos are assholes."

Now, I've never heard that remark from a white person in Houston in my 20 some years of living here. Not even close. In fact, in 1990, this pretty white girl named Tracy, a native Texan, actually made a list of Filipino phrases for herself when Filipino nurses started flocking to Memorial City Hospital where I once worked. A beautiful blond dancer at Centerfolds who thought I was a "cutie" allowed me to kiss and fondle her breasts while telling me "Mahal Kita" (Filipino for "I Love You") though she didn't have to say that because I'm not Philippine-born and I don't speak Tagalog.

These anecdotes divulge a lot to me regarding Houston's place in race relations. Houston simply did not have a history of "No Dogs, Chinks or Flips Allowed" like it did in California.

In SoCal, especially in Southern OC and Northern SD, they PRETEND not to be prejudiced. At least in Huntsville or Corsicana, Texas, they're HONEST about what they feel, from what I've observed.

California is the least racist, or so the legend goes. NOT!

Wordlyman,

I just have to say that I totally agree. Part of the reason I still live in Houston is because I find the people to be so willing to "integrate" and be nice and civil to one another. When I go out with my friends, who are all of different races, we don't even get a second look. I appreciate that. I've been lucky enough to travel to many different large cities: New York, D.C., London, Cape Town, Frankfurt..etc. and Houston ranks highest for me with on the surface race relations. Its a laid back place. Its a welcoming place.

I appreciate that. A few months ago a white male friend, (I'm a black woman) and I were eating dinner at Chachos and he commented that he would never see this many people of different races in a restaurant where he's from (Detroit). I think he's got a good point. That's not info that could be easily broken down and quantified and put in a study, but its part of the day to day experiences of everyone in this city that make it easier for us all to well, get along; and be around each other.

[Anjie0301]

My ex (and now one of my best friends) is White and we never get second looks. Ok, ONE time we were in the car waiting at a red light. A member of the Nation of Islam approached the car window and saw that we were a mixed couple..........I've never seen a Final Call newspaper get retracted so fast in my life! .

As far as social scenes are concerned, I feel comfortable just about anywhere I want to go. I don't party a lot, but if I want to go have a drink at a bar, I just go.

[Original Timmy Chan's]

My ex (and now one of my best friends) is White and we never get second looks. Ok, ONE time we were in the car waiting at a red light. A member of the Nation of Islam approached the car window and saw that we were a mixed couple..........I've never seen a Final Call newspaper get retracted so fast in my life! .

In a similar vein, I can't describe the pride I felt when I was FINALLY offered a Final Call newspaper a few years back. I felt like I'd finally been accepted!!!

[JLWM8609]

Don't get it twisted, racism does exist in Houston. Less people tolerate it now, so it's subdued, unless you get em' mad. Just take a look at the DA's computer, whoops, said too much!

A few months ago, I was at the Best Buy at 610 and Richmond and I saw an interracial couple walk into the store, holding hands. Nobody was paying much attention, except this one brotha, who turned all the way around just to get a second look! I don't know what type of look it was, maybe it was a "why's that brotha with a white woman?" or "That's Robert! Wait, that's not his wife! GASP!" or "My GOD! That woman (or man if he was like that) is gorgeous!"

There are definately those in Houston who don't approve of inter-racial dating, but you probably won't encounter them out and about because

A. Matlock's on

or

B. The way gas prices are, it costs too much to drive in from Vidor

[worldlyman]

Wordlyman,

I just have to say that I totally agree. Part of the reason I still live in Houston is because I find the people to be so willing to "integrate" and be nice and civil to one another. When I go out with my friends, who are all of different races, we don't even get a second look. I appreciate that. I've been lucky enough to travel to many different large cities: New York, D.C., London, Cape Town, Frankfurt..etc. and Houston ranks highest for me with on the surface race relations. Its a laid back place. Its a welcoming place.

I appreciate that. A few months ago a white male friend, (I'm a black woman) and I were eating dinner at Chachos and he commented that he would never see this many people of different races in a restaurant where he's from (Detroit). I think he's got a good point. That's not info that could be easily broken down and quantified and put in a study, but its part of the day to day experiences of everyone in this city that make it easier for us all to well, get along; and be around each other.

Thanks. I mean we are mature enough to know Houston is not perfect...but for some to say places like San Diego are better or Houston is one of the more racist? I mean, it's got more pleasant days and mountain heights that Houston doesn't have but socio-economic integration is another story... I think some people go so far as to espouse that EVERYTHING about a California place is better than Houston just because. It's not something as you say that we can dignify with studies...but I moved to San Diego back in the day assuming the best but observed from a macroview that Houston's race relations per se are superior. When has San Diego had black mayors or police chiefs that we can remember? When has Houston burned down due to race riots? When did Houston have signs at restaurants that said, No Dogs, Filipinos or Mexicans Allowed? These California-is-the-best types don't see necessarily see that.

Don't get it twisted, racism does exist in Houston. Less people tolerate it now, so it's subdued, unless you get em' mad. Just take a look at the DA's computer, whoops, said too much!

A few months ago, I was at the Best Buy at 610 and Richmond and I saw an interracial couple walk into the store, holding hands. Nobody was paying much attention, except this one brotha, who turned all the way around just to get a second look! I don't know what type of look it was, maybe it was a "why's that brotha with a white woman?" or "That's Robert! Wait, that's not his wife! GASP!" or "My GOD! That woman (or man if he was like that) is gorgeous!"

There are definately those in Houston who don't approve of inter-racial dating, but you probably won't encounter them out and about because

A. Matlock's on

or

B. The way gas prices are, it costs too much to drive in from Vidor

I once wrote to Chuck Rosenthal in a debate over the death penalty. His reply was worthy of a stupid Deputy Dawg. He's an anachronistic clone of his predecessor. He doesn't represent modern Houston. Houston's not perfect but its racial climate IS better than that of Miami's, San Diego's, Tampa's...

[houstonmacbro]

In a similar vein, I can't describe the pride I felt when I was FINALLY offered a Final Call newspaper a few years back. I felt like I'd finally been accepted!!!

It's not that I'm against the Final Call (or Muslims), but it infringes on me ... I do not want religion (and that goes for the Mormon bikers) peddling their wares to me.

[hbcu]

what I still can't figure is why ever other minority race (female especially) thinks marrying a caucasian is the ultimate goal or something...

[gwilson]

what I still can't figure is why ever other minority race (female especially) thinks marrying a caucasian is the ultimate goal or something...

Tell me you aren't one of those asian guys who gets pissed when you see an asian chick get with a white guy but get mad because you can't get with a white chick. I have so many asian friends that are this way. It cracks me up to no end.

[houstonmacbro]

Tell me you aren't one of those asian guys who gets pissed when you see an asian chick get with a white guy but get mad because you can't get with a white chick. I have so many asian friends that are this way. It cracks me up to no end.

I don't think one has to be angry or pissed off to notice things. I notice it too.

Especially a lot of Asian and (east) Indian women who drop their ethnic mates in flavor of caucasian men ... it's odd.

[Mark F. Barnes]

What the hell kinda term is "ethnic mate", is the from the Profiling 101 manual?

[millennica]

what I still can't figure is why ever other minority race (female especially) thinks marrying a caucasian is the ultimate goal or something...

In many cultural and social groups, it is common that women are encouraged to and indeed marry up the socioeconomic ladder by seeking mates who are wealthier, more privileged, have greater occupational status and/or are older. This practice is called hypergamy and it isn't unusual in many societies in the world. This could account for some women from groups of color seeking out white men for marriage partners, who in some cases are presumed to enjoy the highest social status in society.

[hbcu]

Not asian...hardly...

Hypergamy.....I like that term but I guess they slept through history class as when they begin to date that way they "forget" where they come from....

[houstonmacbro]

What the hell kinda term is "ethnic mate", is the from the Profiling 101 manual?

Ethnic mate. You know, someone of the same ethnicity.

[millennica]

Not asian...hardly...

Hypergamy.....I like that term but I guess they slept through history class as when they begin to date that way they "forget" where they come from....

Does this mean you don't approve of women of color who marry white men? In California, where I live, many Asian women, particularly Japanese Americans marry white men. According the information from the US Census Bureau, in 2006, 50 percent of U.S.-raised, married Asian women were married to Asian men, while 41 percent of U.S.-raised, married Asian women had white husbands. 60 percent of U.S.-raised married Asian men were married to Asian women, while 30 percent of U.S.-raised, married Asian men had white wives (2006 U.S. Census Bureau).

Consult the following for more detailed information

http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial.shtml

[TheNiche]

Ethnic mate. You know, someone of the same ethnicity.

No, I didn't know. I figured you were going to make some comment such as that white guys can't belong to an ethnicity and have no culture, or some idiot thing like that. The alternative to "ethnic" as a descriptor would seem to be "non-ethnic," after all.

[hbcu]

they look down on black men, will shun their own to marry white......never could figure that out...considering how whites treated Blacks and Japanese in US history I would think many wouldn't even try to make that jump...

but a black-white relationship is still looked at as unsightly compared to whites and every other race

[houstonmacbro]

I could care less who people love, date, and marry. More power to them.

... but it is interesting to watch nevertheless.