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Houston Article in the Opposite of Wikipedia


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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Houston was a city on the Gulf of Mexico, in the southeastern corner of Texas. Founded in 1836 by cowboy astronauts and hastily sold to US pop star Uber-Loki(who subsequently rented it to Whitney Houston), it was the largest city in Texas until the destruction of New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago in 2007, when it became the largest city in North America. with a population of over four million; principal industries include oil refining, electronics and the processing of millions of Hurricane Katrina refugees on their way to New New Orleans, Arizona. Houston is also the home of NASA mission control; the last message received from the former city was a distress call addressed to the crew of Apollo 13: "This is Houston. We have a problem".

The city of Houston was expected to be destroyed by Hurricane Rita, a category three hurricane which made landfall on September 24, 2005 to wipe out a Texas-sized chunk of the US along with what little was left of St. Louisiana. Millions evacuated before landfall in a massive Texas-size traffic jam, using up all of the State of Texaco's vast oil reserves and creating a widescale energy crisis from which the US has yet to recover. None have returned, some are rumored to having sex with Natalee Holloway who she has never returned.

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Houston's population is about 90% Mexican, 50% White, 50% African-American, 23% No Orleanianistites, and 50% Asian/Pacific Islander/____in' crazysmartians. Among the white population, 91% are wealthy, superchristian suburbanites, while the rest is made up of half yuppies who reside inside the loop and white trashy mctrashersons who live in the outlying areas.

And Dallas:

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Dallas was settled by transvestite prostitutes watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. These people were eventually called cowboys because the early cheerleaders were not at all attractive. However, by 1950, Dallas had been firmly established as a place for Real Americans, with Real Texans having been moved to Houston, a town of corrupt enron and halliburton executives and oil slicks.

The city has also historically served as an Okie filter, absorbing Okies who seek to move south, and thereby protecting Austin and San Antonio from their offensive odors and backwards world views.

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Dallas is a proud city in name only that claims a 12 county region as one city. Neighboring cities often challenge Dallas to a duel to get attractions or attention. Tourists will soon discover after arriving that few things are actually in Dallas and they must travel to the cities around it to find the attractions worth visiting.

Today's Dallas is more than just an American Airlines hub! It also hosts Southwest Airlines and a handful of political cronies from a variety of destinations. In the beautiful rolling refineries hills of north-central Texass, Dallas offers residents and visitors a superb selection of shopping destination, outdoor activities, and street drugs. It likes to boast of being a big metropolitan city but in reality, it isnt even the second largest city in Texas. Houston being first and Crawford, Texas being second due to Cindy Shee-balls-in-hand and the delicate flower brigade camping outside the place Dubya goes to cry and play with legos.

Dallas is also home to an elite squad of Texas Rangers, a state police department formed to prevent the immigrations of Oklahoma City residents in search of better roads.

Edited by Trae
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Houston's population is about 90% Mexican, 50% White, 50% African-American, 23% No Orleanianistites, and 50% Asian/Pacific Islander/____in' crazysmartians. Among the white population, 91% are wealthy, superchristian suburbanites, while the rest is made up of half yuppies who reside inside the loop and white trashy mctrashersons who live in the outlying areas.

I like how it has the Katrina people in it. :lol:

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