You Know You Live In The Woodland When

[pineda]

THE BUBBLE ((you know you live in the woodlands when-))

-you hear parents talk about what a great "family community" this place is, and you hear your 13 year-old sister talking about how wasted she and her friends got the night before.

-you can valet park at the mall

-your dad makes more money in one week than your government teacher does in an entire year

-it isn

[SpringTX]

I think some of these are hilarious. And while they are meant as satire, of course, I think some ring true more than others, at least based on our family's experience living in The Woodlands for the past 9 months. Pineda, if you came up with these yourself, I am impressed with your effort.

The items that deal with ostentatious wealth are funny of course, and they ring true...but only to an extent. Surprisingly, there are a lot of middle-income and even low-income people in The Woodlands, and they're scattered all over. Yes, there are maybe 1/3 of the families are WAY above average financially and do things like drive Hummers and vacation in St. Barts. But there are also about 1/2 who are "middle income" and do things like cut their old lawns, drive economy cars that are 5 years old, have kids who work jobs after school, and vacation in South Padre. And there are even maybe 1/6 of the residents who you would call true "ghetto" or "redneck"...and not ashamed of it! Remember there are a number of low-income apartment complxes in The Woodlands. Overall, the spectrum doesn't seem to me to be much different from a place like Klein High School. And it doesn't seem very far off from a lot of other suburbs like Kingwood, Katy, Clear Lake, Klein, etc.

The items that deal with debauchery are funny, too, but they don't seem to ring as true to me. At least not from what I have seen. Granted, my 15-year-old says she hears other kids talking about they took advantage of the fact that there is no drinking age in Cancun when they went there on Spring Break with their families. But I hear reports of booze, drugs, and sex in all the middle schools and high schools around town. In fact, we moved from Spring ISD, and our daughter smelled pot in the restrooms or the halls almost every week in her MIDDLE school. In terms of high schools around town, one place that seems to be notorious for that is Klein Oak High School. So I think The Woodlands gets an unfair rap.

In fact, strange as this may sound, I see a lot of very "square" kids in The Woodlands, maybe even more so than other places. I see a whole "overachiever" side to many families in The Woodlands, where the kids are doing hours of homework each night, stressing more about tests than most college students are, and concentrating more on their class rank than most parents do on their careers. In fact, this "army" of nerds sometimes seems to outnumber the shallow, lazy, pampered princesses and partyboys that can be found here.

For the item that dealt with the schools being larger than colleges, remember that the new high school opened last year, which split things from one high school of 5,000 kids to two high schools of 3,000 and 2,000.

And the one last thing I observation about The Woodlands that I would throw in, would be that everyone isn't as hedonistic and soulless as one might expect. Yes, there is too much money. But I also see a lot of churches here that are growing like gangbusters. And I see tons of volunteer efforts, especially in the wake of Katrina. I see lots of Christian clubs that are very popular in the high schools. I meet lots of generous people in daily life. And the people here are probably the most kind and laid-back drivers that I've seen anywhere...it's almost creepy. I see very little littering. And people tend to behave themselves very well in public. We're talking about workaholic, upwardly-mobile, "new money" people from all parts of the world who are trying hard to create an environment of tranquility and safety for their families here. In fact, sometimes it seems like The Woodlands is kind of a throwback in time, like some Stepford/Pleasantville/Norman Rockwell reality that people are working very hard to create. In fact, I think the "dark side" isn't so much wild partying, but more private things like popping anti-depressants and seeing their shrinks and so on. I think many residents here are tormented and misguided, but I don't know that I would call them immoral.

[pineda]

Nope, I can't claim the fame to that one, it's all over myspace.com though. Apparently, the woodlands is referred to as "The Bubble". As for Klein Oak, that "druggie" reference may have been true a few years back, but with the principal there, that's all changed. The last principal was verrrrry laid-back and all the kids there loved him, but the druggie situation was getting out of hand. Probably the same as the other high schools in the area, they're all alike. Not so with the current administration there at Oak though, the kids HATE the new principal, so of course that means that all the parents LOVE the new principal for all the new and constant surveillance. We have some friends living in one of the better parts of the woodlands who really stretched themselves mortgage-wise to make it into that particular 'hood, and found out the first year there that the entire little village they're living in empties out like a ghost-town and flies off to Aspen together for Spring Break. Their children felt like outcasts when they realized they were the only ones not going. This year, they bit the bullet, and put the trip to Aspen during Spring Break on the credit cards. BTW, smart move on your part, getting out of Spring ISD before your daughter reached high school there...

[SpringTX]

We have some friends living in one of the better parts of the woodlands who really stretched themselves mortgage-wise to make it into that particular 'hood, and found out the first year there that the entire little village they're living in empties out like a ghost-town and flies off to Aspen together for Spring Break. Their children felt like outcasts when they realized they were the only ones not going. This year, they bit the bullet, and put the trip to Aspen during Spring Break on the credit cards. BTW, smart move on your part, getting out of Spring ISD before your daughter reached high school there...

Yeah, the mortgage payment can just be the beginning. We truck the family off to a respectable beach house rental every summer. And this year our daughter said to us: "why can't we go on a cruise like the REAL Woodlands people do?...everyone I know went on a cruise for Spring Break". Meanwhile I remember we spent Spring Break painting the living room.

Yes, Spring ISD offers some great areas of concentration in the high schools, including drive-by shooting technology and gang sign language.

[pineda]

Yes, Spring ISD offers some great areas of concentration in the high schools, including drive-by shooting technology and gang sign language.

[VicMan]

Yes, Spring ISD offers some great areas of concentration in the high schools, including drive-by shooting technology and gang sign language.

I know the Westfield/DeKaney area has gone ghetto. Is the Spring HS area going down too?

[KatieDidIt]

I really don't see the same level of excessive affluence here as you do, as say in Uptown/Galleria. Its here, but its pretty well balanced out with the same or more number of middle income.

And in reality, homes are so much more affordable up here that I am often shocked to walk into expensive homes that are furnished in velour lazyboy. Seems many are killing themselves for a home that is beyond their reach, when they could have another incredible home that is within their reach.

In fact, in a collection made to beautify a cul-de-sac up here, I was shocked to find that two of the checks I collected, bounced...and they weren't big checks either.

I do think the kids are bored up here, but teens are always bored..everywhere. I find it hysterical that the Woodlands teen demands to be catered to as a population.

[SpringTX]

I know the Westfield/DeKaney area has gone ghetto. Is the Spring HS area going down too?

Rightly or wrongly, white flight is coming to the Spring HS area. I just checked the latest numbers for Spring High and it's currently 55% white. A year or two ago it was 60%. A couple years ago, it was 2/3. And a couple years before that, it was 70%. The economically disadvantaged percentage is 30% and growing. This same pattern happened at Westfield over the past decade, and now they're down to 14% white and 55% economically disadvantaged. So Spring HS will be where Westfield is at in probably 10 years or less, if trends continue.

[MexAmerican_Moose]

you know you live in the Woodlands when the Woodlands High School gets beat by North Shore in the state final!

daaaaaaaamiit!

NORTH SHORE CLASS OF 06!

[pineda]

Hey Moose-

If you're a senior at Northshore this year, shouldn't you be in class taking the TAKS tests today?

[SpringTX]

I really don't see the same level of excessive affluence here as you do, as say in Uptown/Galleria. Its here, but its pretty well balanced out with the same or more number of middle income.

And in reality, homes are so much more affordable up here that I am often shocked to walk into expensive homes that are furnished in velour lazyboy.

Yeah, The Woodlands looks poor compared to downtown. If I'm not mistaken, inner-loop communities like River Oaks, Memorial, The Heights, Galleria, etc., have median appraised home values of $400,000 or $500,000 or even a lot more. According to HAR, the median appraised home value for The Woodlands as a whole is under $200,000.

I think The Woodlands gets its fancy reputation around town because of things like: the exclusive retail in the town center, the high-profile golf courses, the resort, the home shows, and the unique planned community aspect with all the trees. The average Joe living in The Woodlands isn't living the "lifestyle of the rich and famous". I think that impression is just due to good marketing and design on the part of The Woodlands Corporation. Drive down any random cul-de-sac in The Woodlands on a Saturday and you'll see some schlub pushing a lawnmover or washing his car. It's actually a very normal place in most respects, surprisingly enough.

[MexAmerican_Moose]

Hey Moose-

If you're a senior at Northshore this year, shouldn't you be in class taking the TAKS tests today?

daaaaaaaamiit!, good one. nah, im one of the smart kids at North Shore Senior High. TAKS is easy, got commended on all except science last year, by only one damn question. our school is pretty good, in fact i was gonna go to LAMAR high school, but decided on North Shore instead. it was closer to home and the academics were not the best but it wasn't a crappy school either.

[mrfootball]

Fun list, but a wee bit pretentious...

"The Bubble" more commonly refers to Highland Park and the Park Cities area of Dallas, which much of this list was obviously 'copped' from. The Woodlands, while nice, is no Highland Park...(yet no less proud of themselves )

I'm still laughing at the poster who brought up the "La-Z-Boy" decor...when I was homeshopping 2 years ago, I found that to be oddly true of many of the homes I looked at in that area.

What is the average household income in The Woodlands? In Cypress, where I live, the average household income is $137,000 with a larger area population than The Woodlands.

[pineda]

What is the average household income in The Woodlands? In Cypress, where I live, the average household income is $137,000 with a larger area population than The Woodlands.

Not to necessarily dis Cypress, but if you had a family, wouldn't you consider the amenities available in the woodlands area to be superior to those available in Cypress, regardless of average household income? Just wondering what amenities, if any, that Cypress boasts as superior to the woodlands? (This post is coming from someone living in Spring, btw, so no great allegiance to the woodlands, as bach can surely attest.)

[mrfootball]

Closer to Austin...

Seriously though. I liked the homes here a bit more when I was shopping (though I really did like the Landsdowne section of The Woodlands with its hilly terrain).

I live in Longwood, so its basically a mini Woodlands. It was developed by a group that managed Harvard University's Real Estate investments (Cypress Real Estate Advisors). I liked the job they did, preserving the forest and making the most out of what nature gave them. Its heavily wooded, with parks, ponds, bike trails, several pools and clubhouses w/playgrounds tennis courts, and a great golf course cut out of the thick forest along Cypress Creek. There are many other nice and varied developments out here, like Coles Crossing, Rock Creek, Blackhorse, the tucked away horse farms, etc.

School are excellent, neighbors educated, neighbhorhoods safe. Good living.

[Trae]

Hilly? Since when did the Woodlands get hilly.

[SpringTX]

What is the average household income in The Woodlands? In Cypress, where I live, the average household income is $137,000 with a larger area population than The Woodlands.

According to www.city-data.com, the median household income for The Woodlands is $85,253. And that's a year 2000 figure. I'm not familiar with Cypress, but that same site shows many other Houston exurbs ahead of or not far behind The Woodlands. It shows: Cinco Ranch at $111,517, Sugar Land at $81,767, Atascocita at $72,032, Missouri City at $72,434, Friendswood at $69,384, etc. The Woodlands appears to higher than many. But not by a whole lot. And upscale inner-loop neighborhoods aren't on the list.

[pineda]

I live in Longwood, so its basically a mini Woodlands. It was developed by a group that managed Harvard University's Real Estate investments (Cypress Real Estate Advisors). I liked the job they did, preserving the forest and making the most out of what nature gave them. Its heavily wooded, with parks, ponds, bike trails, several pools and clubhouses w/playgrounds tennis courts, and a great golf course cut out of the thick forest along Cypress Creek. There are many other nice and varied developments out here, like Coles Crossing, Rock Creek, Blackhorse, the tucked away horse farms, etc.

School are excellent, neighbors educated, neighbhorhoods safe. Good living.

Wow, I had forgotten about Longwood. I did some serious house-hunting out there years ago, and absolutely loved everything about the neighborhood. The connecting roads around that area though sucked big-time (years ago) and so we passed. I'm sure all the roads have been seriously upgraded since then. That truly is a little gem of a neighborhood. Loved all the open green areas for the kids.

[Parrothead]

mrfootball="The Bubble" more commonly refers to Highland Park and the Park Cities area of Dallas, which much of this list was obviously 'copped' from. The Woodlands, while nice, is no Highland Park...(yet no less proud of themselves )

Hmm...I guess the term "The Bubble" is state-wide (probably nation-wide) because the first time I ever heard it was among my friends in high school (mid-late 80s) referring to our hometown of Kingwood. We'd go over the railroad tracks and make a "sucking" sound..."Ooops, back in the bubble!"

That list is really kinda sad though...sad like that idiot show on MTV about sweet 16th birthdays...vomit!

[KDubRedRaider]

Hmm...I guess the term "The Bubble" is state-wide (probably nation-wide) because the first time I ever heard it was among my friends in high school (mid-late 80s) referring to our hometown of Kingwood. We'd go over the railroad tracks and make a "sucking" sound..."Ooops, back in the bubble!"

I graduated from Kingwood High School in 2004 and up we STILL called Kingwood "The Bubble."

The railroad track thing is funny though, I might have to share that with some of my friends from back home.

[CreekDweller]

I really don't see the same level of excessive affluence here as you do, as say in Uptown/Galleria. Its here, but its pretty well balanced out with the same or more number of middle income.

And in reality, homes are so much more affordable up here that I am often shocked to walk into expensive homes that are furnished in velour lazyboy. Seems many are killing themselves for a home that is beyond their reach, when they could have another incredible home that is within their reach.

In fact, in a collection made to beautify a cul-de-sac up here, I was shocked to find that two of the checks I collected, bounced...and they weren't big checks either.

I do think the kids are bored up here, but teens are always bored..everywhere. I find it hysterical that the Woodlands teen demands to be catered to as a population.

I know exactly what you're talking about, and these people seem to really stretch to get the "best" house possible. I went to school at John Cooper for the bulk of my education and whenever I went to friends' houses they'd often be these 6,000-sq ft mini-mansions on a golf course or the lake and yet the furniture looked like it came from a yard sale or Ikea and there'd be a Camry and a 6-year-old minivan parked in the garage.

[Trae]

Well would you rather have a mansion, or a smaller house with HDTV's, new, flashy cars, and nice furniture. I'll take the 3,000 square foot house with the flashy things.

[TJones]

Pineda, I think someone switched out Orange Co. California for The Woodlands,Tx. , just to be funny, TW isn't THAT affluent. If you have REAL deep pockets, you don't live in The Woodlands you live in River Oaks or Memorial areas.

[musicman]

I know exactly what you're talking about, and these people seem to really stretch to get the "best" house possible. I went to school at John Cooper for the bulk of my education and whenever I went to friends' houses they'd often be these 6,000-sq ft mini-mansions on a golf course or the lake and yet the furniture looked like it came from a yard sale or Ikea and there'd be a Camry and a 6-year-old minivan parked in the garage.

funny but so true!!

[KatieDidIt]

I maintain, those that live in Memorial in a 800,000 ranch house in need of help are considered modest; those in the Woodlands are considered rolling in dough. Its an elevated since of importance, and they ain't gotta clue.

[musicman]

I maintain, those that live in Memorial in a 800,000 ranch house in need of help are considered modest; those in the Woodlands are considered rolling in dough. Its an elevated since of importance, and they ain't gotta clue.

so since you're moving to memorial, where on the scale do you lie?

[KatieDidIt]

so since you're moving to memorial, where on the scale do you lie?

Basically killing ourselves to move into a house that is livable and not sinking into the gumbo

[northbeaumont]

THE BUBBLE ((you know you live in the woodlands when-))

-you hear parents talk about what a great "family community" this place is, and you hear your 13 year-old sister talking about how wasted she and her friends got the night before.

-you can valet park at the mall

-your dad makes more money in one week than your government teacher does in an entire year

-it isn't exciting anymore to pass a Lamborghini, Ferrari, or Bentley on the road any given day

-at school you park between an H2 and an Escalade

-you see about 500 BMW's a day

-every girl, starting at the age of 12, has a Coach purse

-your best friend's pregnant

-you've never shared a bathroom in your life

-the Texan cheerleaders perform at your high school pep rally

-you can talk to someone in Illinois and they assume that you must be rich

-Nick Lachey sings at your prom

-you have to ask permission to paint your house

-your high school is rated to snobbiest in America according to David Letterman

-if you have nothing to do you buy some beer and drive around

-one haircut can change your reputation

-myspace.com takes the place of homework

-lunch tables are individual and round

-you pay someone to hang your Christmas lights and mow your lawn

-the maids come every other Wednesday

-your parents own multiple houses

-you go to Jamaica, Thailand, Spain, Belize, or the Bahamas on a regular basis

-you suck if you don't get a beach house for prom

-you debate going to prom if you can't go in a limo

-your entire neighborhood goes skiing every year in Aspen

-your school field trips include New York and Europe

-deaths and car accidents are usual

-your school has more people in it than some colleges

-you have to schedule an up-do appt 6 months in advance if you want someone decent do it for you

-the school sports teams travel in charter buses

-parties have top shelf liquor

-you go to a theme party every weekend

-you build your own skating rink in the winter

-you spend $95 on a Christmas gift for your friend

-girls have 2 boyfriends

-nothing stays a secret

-about half the kids go to church, and out of that only about 10 actually follow religion faithfully

-your jeans cost the same price as your video iPod

-homecoming mums cost $200

-if you don't have confidence or money, you are nothing

Someone told me that Bellaire was similar to The Woodlands.

[bachanon]

the woodlands is a combination of several different stereotypes. there are people who've grown up in the area, have two incomes and a 300k house and act like they are the creme de la creme. there are people here who live in 100k homes they inherited from their parents and live like pigs. there is old money and new money (mostly the latter). many of the wealthiest people i've met are from other countries: spain, the middle east, great britain. there are people here who helped to establish the woodlands and people who've moved here because of its reputation. there are retirees, authors, movie makers, athletes (professional, olympic) musicians, rednecks, roughnecks.......the list goes on. there are the "blond trophy wives" and single moms. there are gay couples with kids (at least two that i know of). most of the people i've met here are positive thinking, active in the community, active physically, non-judgmental and, for the most part, nice.

you know you live in the woodlands when:

you forget which road you're on because the pine forest buffer looks the same everywhere you go.

you realize, after years of living here, that there are office buildings everywhere. some of them you miss until you have occasion to visit a particular address.

surreal moments occur: for instance, imagine a stressful doctor's appointment with a long wait. when you're finally taken to an examination room, after the nurse takes your vitals and you're left alone, you realize that beyond the enormous windows is a forest. you're peripheral vision catches movement that turns out to be a squirrel or a bird. you begin to notice the texture and depth of the world outside. you notice wildflowers. silence. it's startling when the doctor finally comes in. you've forgotten, for a moment, why you were stressed and impatient.

every window you look out of at home or at the office is surrounded by trees. there is a childlike familiarity seeing trees, two or three stories up. there is a memory of being in a tree house, a world of my making. having moments like these immediately before or after a professional visit makes the mundane tolerable.

whew.......where did i just go? that is definitely my LAST glass of la fin du monde.

[musicman]

whew.......where did i just go? that is definitely my LAST glass of la fin du monde.

they sell beer there too?