First Date Suggestions, I am lost here

[Samsoner]

Happy holidays,

What are ideal cafes, diners, or restaurants in Houston or the surrounding area (I live in Pearland) that are excellent first-date locations? somewhere not too casual and not too fancy.

What attractions or parks are ideal for couples on the same day, if her and I were to have a morning brunch?

There is this one girl I know who lives between the Beltway and 610, and I've thought about taking her to the Pearland Town Center for lunch and a matinee. But the distance will be too far for her and there's not a lot to do where I live.

Thanks for your advice

[SaintCyr]

Happy holidays,

What are ideal cafes, diners, or restaurants in Houston or the surrounding area (I live in Pearland) that are excellent first-date locations? somewhere not too casual and not too fancy.

What attractions or parks are ideal for couples on the same day, if her and I were to have a morning brunch?

There is this one girl I know who lives between the Beltway and 610, and I've thought about taking her to the Pearland Town Center for lunch and a matinee. But the distance will be too far for her and there's not a lot to do where I live.

Thanks for your advice

Kinda depends...

Option A. (Brunch) Empire Cafe (food is a B, atmosphere is an A) for brunch and then head down to the museum district for something fun. There are always a lot of cool art and science exhibits.

Option B. (Lunch) Pick up a picnic lunch at Picnic on Bissonnett and head to any of the nearby green spaces with a fun outing in the museum district afterwards.

Option C. (Early Dinner) Nippon Sushi on Montrose then head to Alabama Ice House on West Alabama for live music starting at 4 on Saturdays.

I've used all 3 and they were all a lot of fun. I ended up getting married so I guess it worked. Good Luck!

[BryanS]

Happy holidays,

What are ideal cafes, diners, or restaurants in Houston or the surrounding area (I live in Pearland) that are excellent first-date locations? somewhere not too casual and not too fancy.

What attractions or parks are ideal for couples on the same day, if her and I were to have a morning brunch?

There is this one girl I know who lives between the Beltway and 610, and I've thought about taking her to the Pearland Town Center for lunch and a matinee. But the distance will be too far for her and there's not a lot to do where I live.

Thanks for your advice

Try something new and different. Anywhere but the Montrose area.

I take it she lives between the beltway/loop on the North side of town?

If she lives between the beltway/loop on the South side... and she can't make it to Pearland... run from this one now.

It's christmas time. Go rollerblading with her through River Oaks and look at all the pretty, big expensive homes - with lights.

[ricco67]

There is nothing wrong with going into the Montrose for a first date, particularly if you are going try to introduce her to some of the more interesting restaurants.

I would also use the "This place was mentioned on Diner's Drive-inn and Dives" (Niko Niko's) or something.

Women get taken to cheesy places all the time, do something different and quirky. See a midnight showing at the River Oaks Theater towards the end of the date, maybe?

[Fringe]

If the weathers nice take her downtown to Discovery Green.  You could eat at the Grove. Not to fancy but not to shabby either. Or go across the street and eat in the new Pavilions. 

[TheNiche]

Happy holidays,

What are ideal cafes, diners, or restaurants in Houston or the surrounding area (I live in Pearland) that are excellent first-date locations? somewhere not too casual and not too fancy.

What attractions or parks are ideal for couples on the same day, if her and I were to have a morning brunch?

There is this one girl I know who lives between the Beltway and 610, and I've thought about taking her to the Pearland Town Center for lunch and a matinee. But the distance will be too far for her and there's not a lot to do where I live.

Thanks for your advice

I'd say that the best place for a first date depends on how well you already know the girl. If you've never met before or met only in passing, then this is an exercise in trust-building. Your date has to start out in a public place, with somebody else preparing the food. Select a place that you're familiar with so that you can be decisive with the menu and make suggestions of what she might like according to her tastes. It's OK if things move along quickly and you end up going for a stroll through the park or out for drinks afterward (or further still), but you each need to determine that the other isn't a creep before that, and being initially sober in a public place is important to that end.

On the other hand, if you both belong to a social organization and see each other about once a month, then there's already some familiarity and initial trust. You can skip a step and go straight for drinking, attending a concert or festival, cooking her a dinner, picnicking, or a sporting activity. Play it by ear.

If you're both fascinated by skylines and urban character, try picnicking atop a parking garage downtown; if you both like a gritty industrial character, then picnic on the lawn that's off to the side of Brady's Landing or on the grassy banks of the Buffalo Bayou beneath the abandoned silos near the northeast corner of Jensen and Navigation; otherwise, stick to the verdant parks of your choice.

If you're both outdoorsy-type people, then forgo the picnicking or sporting activity for the second or third date and make that one an overnight hiking/canoeing/kayaking trip. I've even made the overnight camping trip a first date once (with a coworker) and had it be successful; but that'd never have been possible without pre-existing familiarity.

Whatever you do throughout the first few dates, always be respectful, always be an expert, and always come *ahem* prepared.

EDIT: On review, some of my specific suggestions seem most applicable to me and the women that I'm attracted to. Most peoples' girlfriends aren't nearly as fascinated with watching barge traffic in the Ship Channel during a picnic or with driving 400 miles in order to hike ten miles through the desert. You need to play it by ear and do what works for the women that you're attracted to.

[Highway6]

Paintball... Can't go wrong with paintball.

[marmer]

I agree with BryanS. What's up with Pearland being "too far?" Are you driving or meeting somewhere? If the distance is really a problem, then you need to look for something within her comfort zone.

I also agree strongly with TheNiche's entire post, except I would advise maybe proceeding a little more slowly with overnight activities. I would emphasize:

Do not underestimate or rush the process of building trust. I do not know any women who haven't had very bad experiences while dating. Issues of control, escape (really), proximity to other people, etc. are things which women, especially some with a little life experience, pay attention to in a way that most guys don't. Just be aware of and respect that, and ask a female friend or family member if you need clarification.

If that first date involves food, which it probably will:

Don't eat too much. Most women don't find eating like a pig attractive.

Pay attention to your table manners.

Don't talk too much, especially about yourself. Listen to her.

Not saying you're a slob or a jerk or anything, but I would have appreciated knowing these things myself when I was first dating.

Don't expect too much commitment too soon. She very well may go out with other people, so don't allow yourself to get your heart broken after a first and only date.

If I were going on a first date in Pearland, we would go to Santa Barbara, which is a small but highly regarded Italian restaurant and then walk down to the Premiere Cinema 6 which is a very cheap old-style small town movie theatre. There's also a nice park just down the road for strolling. If I were going in Houston, well, I like the River Oaks Theatre and the nearby restaurants, I like Discovery Green, and I really like Miller Outdoor Theatre (though that's not an option right now.)

And not paintball!

[sevfiv]

I agree with Niche - and also, ditch a meal altogether if this is a first date. Save that for later...

[marmer]

Well, now here's a first. I actually disagree with sevfiv! (well, maybe also about the concrete floor thing.)

Eating together, or at least having coffee, tells you a lot about a person and forces you to converse. And it's hard to find a long enough time between meals to make it worth it to plan an activity which must end before the next meal. Besides, hungry people are rarely at their best, mood-wise.

[sevfiv]

Ha! Now I never said skip out on the drinks...beer, coffee, that's all fine!

There's just something about food/dining in my head (unless it is the super casual snacky-type) that can be awkward for a first ever date...

edit - I guess it's a chance to measure table manners and food-smacking decibels!

[TheNiche]

Ha! Now I never said skip out on the drinks...beer, coffee, that's all fine!

There's just something about food/dining in my head (unless it is the super casual snacky-type) that can be awkward for a first ever date...

edit - I guess it's a chance to measure table manners and food-smacking decibels!

JUST SAY NO to wings, ribs, soup/pho, spaghetti, fettuccine, and monstrously-large burgers and po-boys. And cut up your salad's leafy greens into finer bits for easy scooping.

Sushi, steak, seafood, sandwiches, etc. are good first-date foods. They aren't messy or loud, can be easily converted to bite-sized morsels, and don't have to get in the way of productive conversation.

Also, it's OK for the invitee to be subjected to a new culinary experience (i.e. ethnic foods or sushi/sashimi/roe) at the behest of the invitor, but not as a first date, and the invitor needs to have tried the food before and be capable of reassuring their date that the food isn't going to be terrible. If that food may be an acquired taste, like sea urchin roe as an example, then you might ask if they'd be interested in trying it, but don't order it if the interest level is low; that's third or fourth date territory and then only if the invitee's willingness to 'try new things' needs to be tested.

Still, I'd have to say that 20% of the first date with a long-term orientation is good planning, 10% is going out of your way to practice good manners and hygiene (and then only because those aspects can be mitigated by good planning), and 70% is being yourself. If you're play-acting as a nice guy with good manners and hygiene, the truth will come out eventually and you're just wasting your time.

[AtticaFlinch]

All these rules...

All you've got to do is take her someplace you like. If she doesn't like it, then to hell with her. Move on. Valuable time is saved.

[marmer]

All these rules...

All you've got to do is take her someplace you like. If she doesn't like it, then to hell with her. Move on. Valuable time is saved.

Heh. I have a good friend whose first date strategy was to take his companion to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant in Bellaire Chinatown, bag of fresh shrimp in hand. The proprietor would whip up a crunchy, crunchy, heads-on, staring-eyes, off-the-menu Chinese specialty, which probably didn't have an English name. If she flinched, well, there wasn't a second date.

Match.com hooked him up with a 90% compatible lady (at the time they were calling 50% "good.") He took her to the Chinese place and she said "Bring it on!" Crunch crunch. They've been married about ten years now and have two kids. Guess it only had to work once.

To be fair, there are actually a few places I like that my wife doesn't like. Fortunately, we didn't hit one of those on our first date.

[ricco67]

All these rules...

All you've got to do is take her someplace you like. If she doesn't like it, then to hell with her. Move on. Valuable time is saved.

Yeah, so far the OP needs to take her travel time into consideration on the first couple of dates. If she likes him, driving down to PL wouldn't be a that big of a deal for her.

Dating sucks, or has anyone read the local blog, "The Overeducated nympho?" It makes for great ways to avoid some pitfalls.

[TheNiche]

All these rules...

All you've got to do is take her someplace you like. If she doesn't like it, then to hell with her. Move on. Valuable time is saved.

Nope. If that rule held without exception, many first dates would be held at strip clubs. It wouldn't go over well.

Most healthy couples have strong commonalities that bind them together but need not be precisely alike in their likes and dislikes. If you can't respect your date by trying to find something that you can both enjoy in common on even the very first date, then you risk passing over too many false negatives.

[AtticaFlinch]

Nope. If that rule held without exception, many first dates would be held at strip clubs. It wouldn't go over well.

Most healthy couples have strong commonalities that bind them together but need not be precisely alike in their likes and dislikes. If you can't respect your date by trying to find something that you can both enjoy in common on even the very first date, then you risk passing over too many false negatives.

A little common sense is necessary of course.

However, so is a little honesty. If your favorite place to eat is a strip club, then perhaps to save your date's time it would be best to be upfront and forthright with her. It's not just your time on the line here. It's hers too. Why should she be compelled to remain with someone whose habits she may hate and who she may potentially hate being with for any longer than necessary? In my opinion, you should only be willing to compromise on the intial meeting if you'll be willing to compromise later. Otherwise, you've duped an innocent victim into a relationship under false pretenses.

[TheNiche]

A little common sense is necessary of course.

However, so is a little honesty. If your favorite place to eat is a strip club, then perhaps to save your date's time it would be best to be upfront and forthright with her. It's not just your time on the line here. It's hers too. Why should she be compelled to remain with someone whose habits she may hate and who she may potentially hate being with for any longer than necessary? In my opinion, you should only be willing to compromise on the intial meeting if you'll be willing to compromise later. Otherwise, you've duped an innocent victim into a relationship under false pretenses.

So tell us, have you ever compromised on anything with/for your wife? Say, on items such as whose family gets visited for the holidays, the timing or duration of visits by in-laws, travel destinations and activities, housing selection, car selection, food preparation, avoidance of food allergies, or other matters? Surely you've had to settle on something at some point in time. You're not Mormon are you?

Now, recall this instant in time that you've compromised your preference for the sake of the relationship. Why'd you do it? Is it perhaps because you respect your wife, maybe even love her such that her happiness enters into your list of priorities and, itself, becomes a selfish pursuit?

Let's assume that on your first encounter, you had felt it important to inform her of something such as that your favorite place to eat is a strip club. How much further do you think that that relationship would have gone? I'm willing to bet, not very. I'd wager that there are probably a decent number of women that could accept that from a boyfriend/husband, but only once trust has been established; there are probably far more men that'd realize that this was a point that they needed to compromise on if they valued the relationship, but they'll only know whether they value it sufficiently as it progresses beyond the first date.

[Fringe]

For my first date with my wife of 35 years, I took her to see Soylent Green. Is that classy, or what? 

[Coaster]

Just remember for your date that when a girl says "no" - she really means "yes". And if she says 'yes' - she really means 'yes'. So it is always o.k. to do whatever you want.

Just kidding.

[AtticaFlinch]

So tell us, have you ever compromised on anything with/for your wife? Say, on items such as whose family gets visited for the holidays, the timing or duration of visits by in-laws, travel destinations and activities, housing selection, car selection, food preparation, avoidance of food allergies, or other matters? Surely you've had to settle on something at some point in time. You're not Mormon are you?

Now, recall this instant in time that you've compromised your preference for the sake of the relationship. Why'd you do it? Is it perhaps because you respect your wife, maybe even love her such that her happiness enters into your list of priorities and, itself, becomes a selfish pursuit?

Let's assume that on your first encounter, you had felt it important to inform her of something such as that your favorite place to eat is a strip club. How much further do you think that that relationship would have gone? I'm willing to bet, not very. I'd wager that there are probably a decent number of women that could accept that from a boyfriend/husband, but only once trust has been established; there are probably far more men that'd realize that this was a point that they needed to compromise on if they valued the relationship, but they'll only know whether they value it sufficiently as it progresses beyond the first date.

Sure I've compromised, but not on my moral or ethical values. Nor has she, nor would I expect her to. A strip club addiction isn't the same as choosing between Chilis and TGIFridays. There's more than a food preference with that example. If someone were to have such an addiction (or worse), I'd sure like to know about it prior to investing any substantial amount of time in getting to know the other facets of that person's personality, as intriguing as they may be. It's my opinion that a solid relationship is founded on honesty, not subterfuge. And, my point with the sentence you highlighted is if you're unwilling to give up your favorite eating spot in the future (if and when the relationship progresses and assuming she has a problem with it), then you should be honest with her about it from the very beginning. It's the I'm-George-I'm-unemployed-and-live-with-my-parents approach. It saves a lot of time in dealing with incompatible people. Let me give a more benign example. If a woman refused to ever shave her legs, but wore jeans to hide that on the first several dates, then no matter how close we could possibly get, it would be a relationship doomed to failure. Before you ask, yes I am that shallow, and yes that would be a deal breaker. Both our time would have been wasted on something we were both unwilling to compromise on. And for what? On the improbable hope that maybe, just maybe, her personality was so overwhelmingly awesome I'd give up my conceits?

Then again, I suck at poker. Bluffing isn't my strong suit.

[Arivechi]

Happy holidays,

What are ideal cafes, diners, or restaurants in Houston or the surrounding area (I live in Pearland) that are excellent first-date locations? somewhere not too casual and not too fancy.

What attractions or parks are ideal for couples on the same day, if her and I were to have a morning brunch?

There is this one girl I know who lives between the Beltway and 610, and I've thought about taking her to the Pearland Town Center for lunch and a matinee. But the distance will be too far for her and there's not a lot to do where I live.

Thanks for your advice

Daytime date? Get sliders at Little Bigs at Hermann Park (plus a glass of wine?). If you are hitting it off get on one of those pedal boats and spend time going around the pond.

I'm considering taking my husband on this date...

[rsb320]

I'd highly recommend Feast on lower Westheimer. Just remember to save the cow skull served on top of your entree, Red wants to make a hat.

[TheNiche]

Sure I've compromised, but not on my moral or ethical values. Nor has she, nor would I expect her to. A strip club addiction isn't the same as choosing between Chilis and TGIFridays. There's more than a food preference with that example. If someone were to have such an addiction (or worse), I'd sure like to know about it prior to investing any substantial amount of time in getting to know the other facets of that person's personality, as intriguing as they may be.

Hey, watch it there with the straw men. Nobody's talking about an addiction. We were talking about preferences. And the thing about preferences is that individuals frequently have preferences that are exclusive to others or even mutually exclusive. We make choices all the time between those preferences, often painfully, without being untrue to ourselves.

It's my opinion that a solid relationship is founded on honesty, not subterfuge. And, my point with the sentence you highlighted is if you're unwilling to give up your favorite eating spot in the future (if and when the relationship progresses and assuming she has a problem with it), then you should be honest with her about it from the very beginning. It's the I'm-George-I'm-unemployed-and-live-with-my-parents approach. It saves a lot of time in dealing with incompatible people. Let me give a more benign example. If a woman refused to ever shave her legs, but wore jeans to hide that on the first several dates, then no matter how close we could possibly get, it would be a relationship doomed to failure. Before you ask, yes I am that shallow, and yes that would be a deal breaker. Both our time would have been wasted on something we were both unwilling to compromise on. And for what? On the improbable hope that maybe, just maybe, her personality was so overwhelmingly awesome I'd give up my conceits?

Then again, I suck at poker. Bluffing isn't my strong suit.

This just doesn't make any sense. Have you ever described the characteristics of your own body hair (or other covered physical features) to a girl on a first date in the interests of openness and honesty? Some women have a strong preference along those lines, after all, and they may not want to have to wait until they've gotten serious with you to find out one way or the other whether you meet their minimum standards for continuing to date you.

^That would seem impractical.

And if your counterpoint to this observation is that each person should be asking things about the other that reveal characteristics about their date that they consider to be important...well that's true. But have you ever asked a woman wearing jeans whether she has hairy legs? If that'd be a deal breaker and you really believe what you've told me, then you must've seen quite a few reactions to that question. And I'd be interested in hearing about them.

We're talking about first dates, here, where basic trust is being established. To that end, discretion is the better part of valor.

[ToolMan]

My 1st date is usually Absenthe, La Carafe, of Boheme - both Absenthe and Beheme have pretty decent food if you want to eat.

The 2nd date is Lola's. She isn't for me if she is too stuck up or scared at Lola's.

[Highway6]

We're talking about first dates, here, where basic trust is being established. To that end, discretion is the better part of valor.

All this back and forth about trust, and wasting time, and being true to yourself....perhaps the poster could care less about future dates and is just looking to get some or to just have a fun time on a date.

Y'all have no clue about his motivation for dating or where he's at in his life right now. Spending this much energy on dating rules seems kinda silly. He just asked for good places to eat and activities.

Paintball is fun... I still vote for paintball.

[AtticaFlinch]

Hey, watch it there with the straw men. Nobody's talking about an addiction. We were talking about preferences. And the thing about preferences is that individuals frequently have preferences that are exclusive to others or even mutually exclusive. We make choices all the time between those preferences, often painfully, without being untrue to ourselves.

The use of the word stands. If it's a defining behavior characteristic of an individual, and the future would bring no willingness to compromise on that individual's attendance, regardless of the objections raised by a significant other, I see no better word for it than addiction. A preference by nature is something that can be compromised on or eliminated altogether as it isn't mandatory. We're pretty far out in absurdist territory now though, so I guess it really doesn't make too much difference which words we use. Hell, we can make words up to describe it. I like blaffington. It's no strip club addiction or preference. It's a strip club blaffington.

For the record, I wasn't setting it up as a strawman. I was clarifying this condition from a previous post:

In my opinion, you should only be willing to compromise on the intial meeting if you'll be willing to compromise later.

The fact we continued to talk about strip clubs on first dates led me to assume this ^ wasn't the case.

This just doesn't make any sense. Have you ever described the characteristics of your own body hair (or other covered physical features) to a girl on a first date in the interests of openness and honesty? Some women have a strong preference along those lines, after all, and they may not want to have to wait until they've gotten serious with you to find out one way or the other whether you meet their minimum standards for continuing to date you.

^That would seem impractical.

I guess, maybe. Perhaps I was particularly successful at being single. I don't know. Although, I suppose if a woman did indeed have strong preferences, and if I was incapable of er... measuring up, I'd like to know that before showtime. Unnecessary time mismanagement and potential embarassments could be totally avoided with a little bit of honesty. Most people are too concerned with adhering to some sort of undefined social contract that limits the realm of acceptable behavior upon first encounters. I'm not one of those people. I'm polite, but not to the point of being dishonest. If who I am is offensive, then so be it. I won't change for a stranger, and I've never been desperate enough to pretend to be someone else just to get laid.

Then again, I don't enjoy strip clubs, and I don't have any major skeletons hanging in my closets. I suppose it's easiest to be forthright when there's not much to hide. (That ties back in to my unwillingness to compromise on my ethics or my morals.)

And if your counterpoint to this observation is that each person should be asking things about the other that reveal characteristics about their date that they consider to be important...well that's true. But have you ever asked a woman wearing jeans whether she has hairy legs? If that'd be a deal breaker and you really believe what you've told me, then you must've seen quite a few reactions to that question. And I'd be interested in hearing about them.

We're talking about first dates, here, where basic trust is being established. To that end, discretion is the better part of valor.

Like everyone else, I've discovered most deal breakers after the first date. Just because I'm picky doesn't mean I'm an ass. I'm honest with myself and who I am, and would answer any question posed to the best of my ability. That said, had a girl ever asked me to a first date at a strip club or shown up looking like Chewbacca's second cousin, I would have been able to end the charade considerably quicker than I would have otherwise.

Edit: And fortunately these are questions I no longer have to contend with. I'm with a fantastic woman who shaves her legs regularly.

[Highway6]

Edit: And fortunately these are questions I no longer have to contend with. I'm with a fantastic woman who shaves her legs regularly.

Ditto and Amen

[marmer]

All this back and forth about trust, and wasting time, and being true to yourself....perhaps the poster could care less about future dates and is just looking to get some or to just have a fun time on a date.

Y'all have no clue about his motivation for dating or where he's at in his life right now. Spending this much energy on dating rules seems kinda silly. He just asked for good places to eat and activities.

Paintball is fun... I still vote for paintball.

Point taken.

Let's leave aside everything except what the OP said:

She lives "between the Beltway and 610" and "Pearland is too far." We don't know the transportation situation but it sounds like the couple is going to meet somewhere and the woman doesn't want to travel too far. Of course, there are 360 degrees worth of "between the Beltway and 610" but perhaps the OP's Pearland location (and mine) are making me think he means on the south side.

Anything worthwhile at Gulfgate? Any good hole-in-the-wall Mexican places off Wayside? How about the Dot Coffee Shop? 1940 Air Terminal Museum (admittedly, there aren't many good eating places near there.) Is inside-the-loop Houston a possibility? Museum District? Discovery Green? Rice Village? The Galleria?

One of my absolute favorite things to do in Houston is go to the Museum of Fine Arts, and the Cafe Express in the basement has a pretty good selection of decent food. And, even though the OP specifically said he thought Pearland Town Center was too far away, it should be mentioned that there is ice skating there now for the holiday season. Some people really seem to like ice skating. It should also be mentioned that you can't do Town Center and then go to a movie without spending close to 30 minutes in someone's automobile. Yes, it's just across the freeway, but it's too far to walk, not pedestrian friendly, and the traffic and parking is very crowded these days.

[sevfiv]

I assume the OP was talking south about "between 610 and beltway 8" - if so, take her to Armadilla Lanes and bowl. They have a snack bar and a real bar (with a pool table and big screen). Now that's my idea of a good date