lockmat Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I came across one of those for NYC. I've never been and the closest I've come to a city that dense is Rome and Paris.Some of them really made me laugh.1.You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. 2.You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. 3.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.4.Hookers and the homeless are invisible. 5.The subway makes sense. 6.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 7.You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple". 8.The most frequently used part of your car is the horn. 9.You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. 10.You consider Westchester "upstate". 11.You think Central Park is "nature." 12.You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking. 13.You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal." 14.You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times. 15.You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent. 16.You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid. 17.You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed. 18.Your closet is filled with black clothes. 19.You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.20.You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents. 21.You take fashion seriously. 22.Being truly alone makes you nervous. 23.You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.24.Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip." 25.America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you. 26.You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form. 27.You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise. 28.Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes. 29.$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag. 30.You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories. 31.You don't notice sirens anymore. 32.You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns. 33.Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian. 34.You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. 35.You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills. 36.You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. 37.Your door has more than three locks. 38.Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it. 39.You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. 40.You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection. 41.You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license. 42.You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available. 43.You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent. 44.There is no North and South...45.It's uptown or downtown. 46.When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels. 47.You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.48.You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve. 49.Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect. 50.You know what a bodega is. 51.You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats. 52.Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet..... 53.You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas 54.Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. 55. People from other states cant tell a polar bear from a peanut, but they know you're from NY the second you open your mouth.56. When you are able to make a right turn at a red light.. you think it's the best thing ever.57. Rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk to cross the street, you wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it.58. Your local news is national news.59. You walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7.60. You know who Dr. Z is...61. You think you know better than everyone else in the world.. when in reality.. well.. you do.62. Yellow light means speed up.63. Red light means speed up because you know have that 1 second pause until the other light turns green.64. Communicating with people on the road only takes one finger.65. You order your dinner and have it delivered.. from the place across the street.66. You cross the street on a greenlight, and if you get hit by a car you blame the driver for "not watching where they're going.67. You can tell a gunshot from a firecracker and not get scared, but when you go to the burbs you get scared of hearing a cricket.68. You know the lights above the skyscrapers is the closest thing we have to stars.I found this list on a facebook group. Someone started a topic called, New Yorkers hate it when..." People said some pretty funny stuff there too. Maybe I'll post a few. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mojeaux131 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Number 53 is my favorite. I learned not to say it that way from watching Law and Order. There was a great list like this for Houston that I saw on MySpace. It included gems like "You know how to pronounce 'Kuykendahl'." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lockmat Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Number 53 is my favorite. I learned not to say it that way from watching Law and Order. There was a great list like this for Houston that I saw on MySpace. It included gems like "You know how to pronounce 'Kuykendahl'."Yeah, I've seen that list. But a lot of the points are kind of stupid and ones that could be made for any other city. I'll go pull one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vertigo58 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 #54 goes for LA too. When your in a rush to get to work and the street is blocked by "on location" shooting. #64 is a big no-no in LA traffic as well, unless your backing up your middle finger with an AK-47. (this is a different kind of shooting) by the way when in San Francisco always call it San Francisco, the local's hate when outsiders say "Frisco". it also took me a long time to say La Cienega Blvd. say it again and again...La Cienega Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jm1fd Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Let's see what Google has to say about the matter:http://www.google.com/search?q=%22you+know...+%25+%22when%22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lockmat Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 What does the "%" do in a search? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevfiv Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 What does the "%" do in a search?wildcard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mojeaux131 Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Yeah, I've seen that list. But a lot of the points are kind of stupid and ones that could be made for any other city. I'll go pull one.All right, if a lot of them are stupid, why don't we assemble a better one in this thread?To start with: You know you're from Houston when you...1. Know what to expect when entering 45 South from Allen Parkway.2. Associate cartoon rabbits with liquor stores.3. Know which pizza joint coincides with the beginning of Westheimer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vertigo58 Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 All right, if a lot of them are stupid, why don't we assemble a better one in this thread? Good idea. It will become a very long list of course, tough on the eyes. Everyone will want to add tons of silly stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLWM8609 Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 All right, if a lot of them are stupid, why don't we assemble a better one in this thread?To start with: You know you're from Houston when you...1. Know what to expect when entering 45 South from Allen Parkway.2. Associate cartoon rabbits with liquor stores.3. Know which pizza joint coincides with the beginning of Westheimer.Most of mine are associated with driving4. A 20 mile drive across town is to you what a one block walk is to a New Yorker.5. You have avoiding potholes down to a fine art6. You go to another state and say "Where's the freakin' feeder roads?!"7. You want a "soda water"8. You don't know where a landromat is, but you can point out the nearest washateria9. You can find where Veterans Memorial ends and Steubner-Airline begins without getting confused10. You still call it "Intercontinental Airport", not "Bush".11. Humble has no "H" in it.12. Anything north of OST, east of Almeda, and south of I-45 is automatically Third Ward, not the Museum District, not Midtown, TMC or any other name.13. You knew who Fat Pat was 10 years ago.14. It's not uncommon for a street to be the 6600 block on one side of the intersection, then jump to the 16000 block on the other side.15. You've got at least one picture of yourself at the Rocket Park at NASA when you were young.16. You take out of town guests out for either A. BBQ, or B. Seafood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mojeaux131 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Good idea.It will become a very long list of course, tough on the eyes. Everyone will want to add tons of silly stuff. Your prediction came true very quickly, didn`t it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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