You Might Be From The Valley If

[Rio Grande Valley]

You've all heard of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck..", well this is my version.

You might be from the Valley if.....

you start to shiver when the temperature drops below 65 degrees.

you consider San Antonio as "the big city."

you go to the mall just for the air conditioning.

you have to drive through an orange orchird just to go to work.

the most exciting thing that has happened was getting the new Lowe's

These are just the first of many to come. If you have any to add on here, please do so.

[kennyc05]

speaking from my point of view being from the victoria area and being black you know you from the valley when you see a black person and ask are you from houston

[Rio Grande Valley]

Thanks alot kennyc05

Please keep the Valley jokes coming people.

[TheNiche]

you the most exciting that has happened was getting the new Lowe's

^ Yes, my valley friends got all uppity over the fact that Starbucks arrived in late 2002. Every once in a while I am regailed with the names and numbers of new Wal-Marts, Targets, Home Depots, Lowes, and every other big box under the sun. I let them have their fun...

But more recently, I had to deal with people down there on the business side of things, so I've regained insight into the ways of Valley culture.

You might be from the Valley if...

...you get angry or excited and start communicating in 80% spanish.

...you are asked to supply some information about a project you're working on, happily agree, and then say later that you were just kidding.

...you work for the government and agree to supply some information and are told that the deadline for it to be useful is one week, but you gather 50 times more information than was necessary six weeks later, then call me to confirm that it is being sent, are at lunch at 2PM when I return your call the same day, don't return my call until another week later, and then send the information at that point, paying full postage for the several-hundred-page document, all without billing me a cent for your expenses or time.

...you are paying for services I rendered, they aren't provided within a full month of the agreed-upon date, and you don't delicate flower about it once.

...you pull into the Port Isabel Wal-Mart in February and forget that you aren't in Minnesota.

...I ask you, a public official who should know better, for information on where new construction is taking place and you point to the exact spot on a map where you live and then to where your daughter lives, across town. (Strange but true! )

...you and dozens of first, second, and third cousins manage taco stands for your wealthy uncle. You all used to work at another uncle's chain of clinics, but he's in jail now.

[Rio Grande Valley]

That's awesome Niche.

Here's some more: You might be from the Valley if...

...there are 10 people squeezed into a car and someone yells, "There's room for more!!"

...you know how to make pan de campo

...if dr.pepper, sprite, rootbeer, and orange soda is referred to as Coke.

[Boris]

You might be from the Valley if you refer to the Jones & Jones department store in McAllen as "Hones Y Hones"

You might be from the Valley if while in "Hones & Hones" you ask for the "lipasticki and Lipagloss"

You might be from the Valley if you refer to people from Corpus as "pinches norteneos"

You might be from the Valley if when asked how you got here you say "I swam"

You might be from the Valley if you think a Valley football team that wins district is actually good

[TheNiche]

You might be from the valley if you've ever mistakenly threatened someone because they don't know Spanish, and you consider that to be cultural treason. ...never mind that they're a shade of pale pinkish yellow...or that they're actually white. How were you supposed to know? They live in the RGV!

You might be from the valley if you're the second highest paid employee of a school district and your husband is the superintendent.

You might be from the valley if you park in the striped parking spaces at La Plaza Mall. And where were you supposed to park -- Mexican nationals have taken all the painted-red curbside parking.

[Boris]

You might be from the Valley if you think the El Globo Supermarket parking lot is the designated place to dispose of the dirty diapers.

You might be from the Valley if you think the grocery store basket was provided just so you can transport your groceries all the way to your house.

You might be from the Valley if you think that the way to fix a broken brake light cover is to put red tape over the crack.

You might be from the Valley if you think that it's perfectly safe to put your seven kids in the back of the truck while you drive drunk to Boca Chica beach.

You might be from the Valley if while at the beach you spend all your time fixing and eating food and drinking beer, rather than enjoying the beach.

You might be from the Valley if your kids swim in the beach with their regular clothes on, or in their underwear.

[TheNiche]

...or in their underwear.

Ain't that the truth!

[Rio Grande Valley]

You might be from the Valley if...

...you grill Carne Asada at work

...half of the people in your classroom has the last name Garcia.

...you drove for ten minutes and went through four cities.

...you refer to Winter Texans as "pinches gringos"

...the biggest tourist attraction is a birding center

[Pumapayam]

You might be from the Valley if you think the El Globo Supermarket parking lot is the designated place to dispose of the dirty diapers.

You might be from the Valley if you think the grocery store basket was provided just so you can transport your groceries all the way to your house.

You might be from the Valley if you think that the way to fix a broken brake light cover is to put red tape over the crack.

You might be from the Valley if you think that it's perfectly safe to put your seven kids in the back of the truck while you drive drunk to Boca Chica beach.

You might be from the Valley if while at the beach you spend all your time fixing and eating food and drinking beer, rather than enjoying the beach.

You might be from the Valley if your kids swim in the beach with their regular clothes on, or in their underwear.

Some of these are from, "You might be a spic/mexican. . ."

Reminds me of the aggie jokes modified from blonde jokes.

[Boris]

Some of these are from, "You might be a spic/mexican. . ."

Reminds me of the aggie jokes modified from blonde jokes.

Little mean, I know, but we do like to make fun of ourselves down in the Valle.

[MidtownCoog]

...if you say "J'all" instead of "Y'all".

[Rio Grande Valley]

You might be from the Valley if...

...there is aluminum foil over your windows for no apparent reason.

...your car window is broken so you put duct tape or a trash bag to cover it.

...you know someone who knows someone who knows the county judge.

...you can't hide anywhere in town without someone recognizing you.

...you use the words "Vato" and "ese" on a daily basis.

[TheNiche]

...you use the words "Vato" and "ese" on a daily basis.

I had that one on the tip of my tounge last night. Glad you put it down.

[Vertigo58]

I had that one on the tip of my tounge last night. Glad you put it down.

better yet just hang around Gulfton area or TDC for the latest gang-banger lingo.

[TheNiche]

better yet just hang around Gulfton area or TDC for the latest gang-banger lingo.

Haha, gangbanger lingo...

No, this is how most of my friends talked back in elementary school.

[Rio Grande Valley]

You might be from the Valley if...

...your car costs more than your house.

...you walk outside and its 110 degrees, and you say "I swear we have our own sun!"

[Boris]

You might be from the Valley if you still listen to 80's heavy metal music.

[TheNiche]

You might be from the Valley if you still listen to 80's heavy metal music.

Ah yes! I always remind myself when certain songs come on the radio, for instance Rush's 'Free Will' or AC/DC's 'Bad Deeds Done Dirt Cheap' or especially Manfred Mann's 'Blinded by the Night'. The last one has the chorus that sounds like they're saying "Ripped off like a douche into the middle of the night," except that they supposedly are not saying that.

And of course I had the token long-haired rocker friend that listened to nothing but Metallica, Ozzy, Megadeth, etc. He has since expanded his horizons, thankfully.

[Rio Grande Valley]

Hey, I like 80's heavy metal and hair bands.

my top 10 favorite bands are:

1. AC/DC

2. Metallica

3. Black Sabbath with or without Ozzy

4. Iron Maiden

5. Guns N'Roses

6. Scorpions

7. Rush

8. Rammstein

9. KMFDM now there called MDFMK

10. Megadeth

[MidtownCoog]

9. KMFDM now there called MDFMK

Really? I have seen them at #s three or four times.

God Like!

[Vertigo58]

Really? I have seen them at #s three or four times.

God Like!

a true following. saw them once here but its a blure