riverrat

Hey...no humor on this board, please. This is a laff-free zone..take it to Comedy Central where it belongs, or the "Suits" will dematerialize you !!

Why do you people punish me this way...all this talk about Skyscrappers...don't you realize that when you're only 3/32" tall, a blade of grass is a skyscrapper? I warn you...cease this attempt to humiliate me with such trivial trivialities or I shall unleash the full wrath of my EVIL GENIUS....but right now the Mrs. is making hologram pancakes....gotta go!

AAAGGGGHHHHHHH !!! There's that word again...MANIFESTO...First it was Beat your Meat Manifesto or somethin' like that..and..now it's mumbo jumbo ( Gumbo? ) manifesto....I think I see a dangerous trend developing....it's a manifesto manifestation...and they're the worst kind...mainly because I don't know what the hell is going on....but I will ! And when I do, THIS universe will be a living hell of MANIFESTO MANIFESTATION SATURATION....but right now I have to go potty....NO DOORS !! Now get lost before someone drops a house on you...OOPS !! damn the Oz movie!....it keeps creeping back into my head..or maybe it's crawling...maybe it's a creepy crawler...or maybe not... HEH HEH HEH HEH

Mr. Potato Bug - That's because while you were chatting and thinking he was a loon (that's a favorite ruse of his) he was all the while secretly checking to see if your french fry brain was being stored at the proper temperature. If you haven't seen yourself on TV since the incident, you must have passed. Now scram!....No wait...One piece of advice...next time you french fry your brain, take it out of your head first and place it in a suitable container...That looks like a really bad burn on your face. And after all, even the Colonel didn't crawl in with the fried chicken, now did he ....HEH HEH HEH Now scram!

Don't listen to YellowStain Pants...he's a loser. I too am in the Food business and I'm here to tell you it's the most cutthroat business there is. Ya gotta bribe your suppliers, undercut your competition, hire the biggest pinheads, pay the lowest wages and skim all you can off the top just to survive in this Dog eat Dog racket. It's tough but it's the American way....No wait, it's bigger than that.....IT'S THE ENRON WAY!!!! Jeff...Ken...keep your chins up boys........it'll be good practice for the BIG HOUSE!! Now get lost so I can get back to planning my next evil plan! You use a restroom with a DOOR?? If you're a guy.......YOU WEENIE!! If you're a dame.....is there 3/32" clearance under the door?

That's funny...I thought you were playing Spin the Crab and he/she lost and had to let you do the CRAB DANCE on their back...ha ha ha ha BUT... I'm not some wimpering ladyboy ready to give up and have his brain turned into french fries and his face permantly red with just a highlight of color aroud the edges and ...hummmmmm...sounds familiar...But I've got my eye on you AND your "mudder" (a racehorse known for his/her ability to run well in the mud, but that was before you were hatched). I know you've got that hard thing that protects you...you've also got that shell thingy but they are no match for my scientific genius...I will devise a plan...a plan...a plan...a pla...schxnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz HUH! WHO IS IT? Oh it's you, Crabs, or should I say Ugine..right Mr Ugine Crabs ...how did you get THAT handle? Or do you like to spell it with an E Ugene or maybe three E's Eugene....sounding more and more like a girli name to me ...pretty soon it'll be Jennifer...Jennifer Crabs...and you/ll get lots of dates with Spongebob and Squidward OR maybe not...But who cares about Your Love Life...except Valentines Day is coming...I swear by all that is evil...I will have the receipe..or is it reciepe...or maybe it's recipe...I don't know...I left my pocket dictionary at home...This whole thing is making me crazy and now I have to go potty...But I'll be back, I'll be back.... So watch out Crabs...I know where you work, I know where you live and if I can get someone who will let me sit in their lap, I know how to drive between both places. I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!!! OOPS that happens everytime I stay up late and watch that stupid Oz movie.

Who cares about any of this crappola...the only thing that matters is.... WHY DOES MR CRABS DENY ME THE RECIEPE TO THE CRABBY PATTY? BUT I WILL GET IT ONE DAY AND THEN YOU'LL SEE SOME R-E-A-L MONEY CHANGING HANDS!!!! GET YOUR CHECKBOOKS OUT, BOYS, DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES...WAIT... I DON'T HAVE FEET...ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Not any more...I just washed them! PATTIE UP!

Holy cow!! Those instructions sound like they are right out of "Brokeback Mountain"!!! Especially that FIXTURE part. Well, back to flippin' PATTIES.

Including myself........approximately ONE!

That young lady will definitely be refused service at the CRUSTY CRAB...unless she is wearing shoes!!

You are so right, Patrick.

See, you said you saw two cranes on I-10 and wondered what was going up? The cranes were going up, silly. Anyway, I said the tunnel was underwater because it's ALWAYS under water just like cranes are ALWAYS going up...get it? Unless they were upside down, then they would be going down...I guess. So then you said Huh? and then I said what I said before. Get it? Gotta get back to flippin' those Crabby Patties!

No, but I heard that the Washburn Tunnel in Pasadena is under water!

When her Bodacious TaTas burst forth onto the anchor desk, then she will be overexposed...and I won't mind a bit.