TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) > Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a Radical Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock Cal. 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me, If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. Republican's Answer: BANG! Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...(sounds of reloading).. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter:"Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points? Son: "Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one! Wife: " You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist! Edited June 13, 2006 by TJones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) New answer:Republican:Shoot the Radical Islamic Terrorist and the guy next to him because you heard he may have huge knives of his own and may have at one time talked to the terrorist. Wrong? Oooopsie. Edited June 13, 2006 by west20th Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 New answer:Republican: Shoot the Radical Islamic Terrorist and the guy next to him because you heard he may have huge knives of his own and may have at one time talked to the terrorist. Wrong? Oooopsie. Did you really have to quote that whole big ol' post just for that, C'mon now ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) Did you really have to quote that whole big ol' post just for that, C'mon now ? Wait wait I've got another Ann Coulter: Shoot the terrorist. Take his house and if he has a family convert 'em to Christianity. Pat Robertson: Take 'em out by dropping 2,000 lbs. on him and leg press the whole ungodly mess. Edited June 13, 2006 by west20th Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmainguy Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I got that email from via spam. Weird how all these wacko right-wing rags slither into my hard drive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) Wait wait I've got anotherAnn Coulter: Shoot the terrorist. Take his house and if he has a family convert 'em to Christianity. Wait wait, heres an even better one: "Tell him he can come have a few drinks with me and Patrick and then we'll go take him for a ride back home,(*hic*) you know we Kennedys love diplomacy." I got that email from via spam. Weird how all these wacko right-wing rags slither into my hard drive. No you didn't nmain, that's impossible, you are on THE LIST ! Edited June 13, 2006 by TJones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) Wait wait, heres an even better one: "Tell him he can come have a few drinks with me and Patrick and then we'll go take him for a ride back home,(*hic*) you know we Kennedys love diplomacy."It's not nice to make fun of problem drinkers. Your exalted leader has/had a drinking problem. Remember? Edited June 13, 2006 by west20th Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 It's not nice to make fun of problem drinkers. Your exalted leader has/had a drinking problem. Remember? Yeah, but apparently he knows HOW to drive DRUNK, and not kill anyone or run into a concrete barrier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston1stWordOnTheMoon Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Glock?!?!?!?! Yuck, that plastic gun is not a good one. Give me a .45 or .357 magnum any day Even a snub nosed .38 is better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeebus Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Independent: Draw the gun and see if this idiot is really going to bring his knife to a gun fight. Here's an illustrated re-creation of TJones facing off with this alleged "terrorist" just moments before eliminating him with "extreme predjudice". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Yeah, but apparently he knows HOW to drive DRUNK, and not kill anyone or run into a concrete barrier. Paaaaaaaaalease (two words). He got a DUI in the 70's. You REALLY had to earn your DUI's back then. The fact that he didn't happen to kill anyone is just dumb luck on his part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeebus Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Glock?!?!?!?! Yuck, that plastic gun is not a good one. Give me a .45 or .357 magnum any day Even a snub nosed .38 is better Thousands of police departments & military agencies would tend to disagree with you there. That "plastic gun" is one of the most reliable firearms ever made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) Glock?!?!?!?! Yuck, that plastic gun is not a good one. Give me a .45 or .357 magnum any day Even a snub nosed .38 is better Just pretend it is a Desert Eagle .44, then you don't even have to worry about grouping, at least I didn't when I had mine. I just found it to be a great noise maker. Paaaaaaaaalease (two words). He got a DUI in the 70's. You REALLY had to earn your DUI's back then. The fact that he didn't happen to kill anyone is just dumb luck on his part. Well, I guess he could have covered it up better if he had run off a bridge into a lake and left a passed out hooker in the car to drown, and then wait 8 hours to tell anyone while he went and slept it off, huh West ? Edited June 13, 2006 by TJones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) Well, I guess he could have covered it up better if he had run off a bridge into a lake and left a passed out hooker in the car to drown, and then wait 8 hours to tell anyone while he went and slept it off, huh West ? She was a secretary. But I'm sure her family will be glad you called her a hooker. You sure can smear 'em, just like a good Republican. Edited June 13, 2006 by west20th Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 She was a secretary. But I'm sure her family will be glad you called her a hooker. You sure can smear 'em, just like a good Republican.Who was a secretary ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Who was a secretary ?The lady in the car you refered to as a "hooker". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 The lady in the car you refered to as a "hooker". How in the world do you know if the girl in Pres. Bush's hypothetical crashed car is a secretary or not ? That is amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) How in the world do you know if the girl in Pres. Bush's hypothetical crashed car is a secretary or not ? That is amazing. Don't try to cover up your callousness. You refered to leaving a "hooker" in the car to drown. A direct reference to TKennedy at Chapchwidick (sp?). You may think Ted is an a** but calling the poor dead woman a hooker is pretty cold. OMG You've been possesed by Ann Coulter!! Edited June 13, 2006 by west20th Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VelvetJ Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Republican Answer- If I shoot this guy, the city will probably send someone to clean up the mess, which may lead to overtime for that minimum wage worker, which could possibly somehow lead to an increase of an extra penny I will have to pay in taxes next year. And we all know I would rather die than to let that happen, so I will let the guy kill me and my family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmainguy Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) How in the world do you know if the girl in Pres. Bush's hypothetical crashed car is a secretary or not ? That is amazing. TJ, The incident you refered to above re: the car going into the lake with a "hooker" was Kennedy-not a coked up, drunk Bush. Mary Jo Kopechne, a woman who was in his car, was killed. She was a 29-year-old blond secretary in Washington D.C., who worked for Senator Robert F. Kennedy and Senator George Smanthers. I gotta side with west...not nice to call the victim a "hooker"-especially with her parents still alive. Edited June 13, 2006 by nmainguy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) Don't try to cover up your callousness. You refered to leaving a "hooker" in the car to drown. A direct reference to TKennedy. You may think Ted is an A** but calling the poor dead woman a hooker is pretty cold.I'll concede, very callous, I apologize, but she was there to party and only that. She wasn't doing any paperwork or filing for the Senator THAT night. Don't kid yourself, she was an EX-secretary of his brother's. So, I will leave it at that. I feel terrible that anyone had to die because of a drunk driver. I retract the "hooker" comment, I took the joke too far, and I apologize. Edited June 13, 2006 by TJones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I'll concede, very callous, I apologize, but she was there to party and only that. She wasn't doing any paperwork or filing for the Senator THAT night. Don't kid yourself, she was an EX-secretary of his brother's. So, I will leave it at that. I feel terrible that anyone had to die because of a drunk driver. I retract the "hooker" comment, I took the joke too far, and I apologize.Oh OK....But please NO MORE COWBELL!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmainguy Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 uhhhhhhh ...how did we get from a glock to Mary Jo???? We sure can get off on a tangent sometimes [i wish I could have a drink ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west20th Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) [i wish I could have a drink ] You Patrick, Ted and George? Naw you and George would end up rolling on the floor..... Actually I think Ted has quit/cut back his drinking. He doesn't have that ruddy complexion or rudolph nose anymore. Edited June 13, 2006 by west20th Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 You Patrick, Ted and George? Naw you and George would end up rolling on the floor..... Actually I think Ted has quit/cut back his drinking. He doesn't have that ruddy complexion or rudolph nose anymore. I'd have a drink with Ted just to say that I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 As an independent conservative (yet compassionate , I would shoot that bastard right between the eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) As an independent conservative (yet compassionate , I would shoot that bastard right between the eyes. Ok.............. what I meant to say, maybe I didn't explain it all the first post, is that I would have a drink and get Teddy liquored up for Gary, so that he would have an easy shot at him. Cheers Gary. btw......would you like some cowbell ? Edited June 13, 2006 by TJones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedScare Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a Radical Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock Cal. 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? Typical Southern redneck Republican fantasy. The fact is, the terrorist would set off the bomb strapped to his chest without saying a word. You and the wife and kids would be toast, and the Glock would be melted to your ass. Don't worry, though. When your family complains that the government doesn't spend enough on security, Ann Coulter will accuse them of enjoying your demise. At least you'll be famous. Maybe a country singer will write a song about puttin' a boot up someone's ass for you. Sorry to douse your thread with a bucket o' reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNiche Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) The Libertarian Answer: BANG. "Great shot, dad, you got him right in the balls!" "That's right son, now this immigrant will not only survive and be able to contribute to the labor force, but the deprivation of his testosterone will temper his aggressive tendencies, and the lack of a reproductive mechanism means that he won't be able to make children that would compete for limited money within the educational or healthcare systems." "Honey, don't you think we should dial 911?" "No, I'll use my pocketknife to sever the remnants of his testicles...lets get him to the nearest non-governmental hospital." j/k. If it were me in this unlikely situation, I'd use the brandish approach and try to make a citizen's arrest. If he kept charging, shoot him. Call the feds. Simple. Edited June 13, 2006 by TheNiche Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbigtex56 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 >Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. The Southern Republican reply (in my case) is: "Forget about the wife (spouse); you're not allowed to marry. Forget about the children; you're not allowed to adopt them. And forget about the gun too; you're not allowed to defend your country. In fact, we're on the terrorist's side on this one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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