Most Awkward Work-Related Moments

[TheNiche]

Here's a little thing I thought would be interesting. Let's all share our most awkward work-related moments. To break the ice, I'll start:

My boss, without realizing it, hired my most recent ex-girlfriend as a temp. She starts tomorrow and will sit in a cube within earshot of mine. If I am not sufficiently productive through the holiday season or they do not hire a replacement for someone who left the firm recently, then I am almost certain that she will be retained to take on my excess work and that I'll be her project manager. She doesn't know that.

In telling me of our newest hire, my boss refered to her in my presence as an "odd little duck".

EDIT: SS, don't tell KD or CS. Thanks.

[CDeb]

Here's a little thing I thought would be interesting. Let's all share our most awkward work-related moments. To break the ice, I'll start:

My boss, without realizing it, hired my most recent ex-girlfriend as a temp. She starts tomorrow and will sit in a cube within earshot of mine. If I am not sufficiently productive through the holiday season or they do not hire a replacement for someone who left the firm recently, then I am almost certain that she will be retained to take on my excess work and that I'll be her project manager. She doesn't know that.

In telling me of our newest hire, my boss refered to her in my presence as an "odd little duck".

I don't think I could even come close to that one. Yikes!

[TheNiche]

I don't think I could even come close to that one. Yikes!

Try. Confusion/misery enjoy company.

[PapillionWyngs]

Try. Confusion/misery enjoy company.

I can beat it. My first big presentation for a MAJOR hotel chain in Houston. Last minute trip to the Ladies Room. Come out to make the presentation, turn around - skirt is tucked into panty hose. Red skirt, red blazer, red choes, red me - our logo was red, so I fit right in. Thankfully someone jumped up and helped me get my act together!

[Pumapayam]

How about using the restroom stall next to one of my upper management and hearing him make noise.

I can never look at him the same after hearing that symphony come out of his rear.

[lockmat]

Looks like it's your chance to redeem yourself Niche, haha, jk

Puma...symphony, ha!

[TJones]

Here's a little thing I thought would be interesting. Let's all share our most awkward work-related moments. To break the ice, I'll start:

My boss, without realizing it, hired my most recent ex-girlfriend as a temp. She starts tomorrow and will sit in a cube within earshot of mine. If I am not sufficiently productive through the holiday season or they do not hire a replacement for someone who left the firm recently, then I am almost certain that she will be retained to take on my excess work and that I'll be her project manager. She doesn't know that.

In telling me of our newest hire, my boss refered to her in my presence as an "odd little duck".

EDIT: SS, don't tell KD or CS. Thanks.

Ok, You Win !

Nah, it is really just God's sick sense of humor, telling you that you and her are MEANT to be together.

Another perk, will be that when your buddies at work start hangin' around the watercooler sayin, "Oh Yeah, I'd hit THAT !" You can chime in with, "I already have boys.........I already have." and just walk away while they pick their collective jaws off the floor.

[TheNiche]

Nah, it is really just God's sick sense of humor, telling you that you and her are MEANT to be together.

I wish that were true, but most women don't seem to respond very well to nice well-balanced guys that just want to forego all the initial pomp in favor of a stable long-term gig. I just kept it real. If they don't know what they want in life (and most don't), that spooks them. Why do you think Dr. Phil has such a large audience?

Another perk, will be that when your buddies at work start hangin' around the watercooler sayin, "Oh Yeah, I'd hit THAT !" You can chime in with, "I already have boys.........I already have." and just walk away while they pick their collective jaws off the floor.

You sure do have a knack for predicting the past, TJones. Not perfectly, but pretty damned close. I didn't have to say much, except to pull aside my collar.

...and then there's the building security guard...I'm not telling that story.

Dammit. :closedeyes: This is going to be weird.

[TheNiche]

Dammit. :closedeyes: This is going to be weird.

Ok, it isn't as weird as I thought it would be.

The only thing I'm disappointed in is the relatively low response rate to this post. Anybody else secure enough with themselves to share their most awkward work-related moment?

[Pumapayam]

The only thing I'm disappointed in is the relatively low response rate to this post.

It is just a slow day in general for HAIF, I am pretty bummed out about that too.

But it is not nearly as bad as the Atlanta Forum.

[TJones]

I can say I've never actually had any kind of awkward experience, except maybe the time I was accused of espionage between the company I ironically work for now for the past seven years and the company I quit for being accused.

The GM of the company I quit was very paranoid about being found out of wrongdoings within his company. He WAS actually trying to rip off my current employer, but I wasn't aware of this going on. I had a very good friend , Andrew, who had just left this GM's company on bad terms, but he and I were still drinkin' buddies. I hope that makes sense.

Anyways, there was a deal going on within the Chrysler Corp. whereas the company with the BAD GM, had to give up it's franchise to my current company in order to get what my former employer thought to be a better franchise. In the deal, my current employer was to get all stock remaining on the former employers property.

Well, the former employer, was trading in OLD STOCK, from their other location across town, trying to screw my current employer. I had no knowledge of this happening, because it was actually happening AFTER HOURS, under the GM's watchful eye. My current employer sent a team of folks to catalog all inventory coming in. My good drinking buddy, was part of that team, and he immediately saw what was going on, and alerted the higher ups of my current employer as to what was taking place, and ALL the lawyers got involved, and it was found out to be true.

The GM was severely reprimanded for being caught, and he couldn't figure out HOW he had gotten caught, SOOOOOOOO he called me into his office and started asking me a series of questions to me, in front of his other managers, so there could be witnesses. After his questions, I had a few for him, he didn't like that at all, and then stated to me, "The only conclusion I can come too is that YOU have been talking to Andrew as to what was being done to the inventory, and that it would be in your best interests that it not happen again."

I in turn assured him that his "conclusion" was so off the mark it was laughable, and that I also did not appreciate his accusation of me, that I had been nothing but loyal to the company. He gave me a "whatever." and said that would be all.

I left contemplating who the hell he thought he was, trying to blame me for something I had absolutely no knowledge of. I immediately picked up the phone once I got back downstairs and called my friend Andrew, and he told me the whole story about what my GM had been doing, and that he had gotten busted by Andrew himself, and because Andrew and I were such good friends, that the GM was obviously looking for a scapegoat. Andrew then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to come to work over where he was, with a guarantee and benefits ? I said "Are you serious?" He said, "absolutely."

The next day I went over to my current employer's place of business, filled out the necessary paperwork, took my pee-test, got the money all worked out, and was told I was hired, "when would I like to start." I told them in about 2 hours, and they said "fine."

I trucked it back over to my now FORMER employer, asked for a meeting with all my sales managers that were in the meeting the day prior and the GM also. The GM said he needed a minute but why doesn't everyone just come up to his office. I said, "No, this won't take long at all, and besides, everyone else is already down here in this office." The GM came down and we closed the door.

I started the meeting by telling everyone thank you giving me just a minute, and blah, blah, blah. I then told everyone there how I had felt about yesterday's meeting, and how shocked I was to here that the company was indeed using such practices when all they preached was "how not to lie to the customer, and just be honest with them." They all agreed that ," that is how we do business, and I should always be honest." I then told them all how I was appalled about being accused, and that as the day wore on yesterday, the more pissed off I got, and then the GM tries to interupt, and I said," Hold on, I am not finished yet." I went on for about another minute or so, about me doing some investigating on my own after hearing about what had transpired just for my own piece of mind. Then I looked the GM squarely in the eye, and said those two magical words. "I QUIT !" , then I used some more words, " ........and YOU can suck my D*CK !"

That was all I had to say, and as the managers were falling over themselves, I quietly opened the door, and then walked out, the GM came up behind me saying, " wait, WAIT, we can work this out, don't leave." I told him "It was alright, I don't believe in this company anymore, and I will find greener pastures." So, as this was spilling out onto the floor where everyone else could see and hear. I told him, "That anyone that would buy anything from him or this company would have to be out of their minds." About five or six clients were actually within earshot of this, and a few raised eyebrows occurred after hearing this.

The GM just kept repeating, " LEt's just go up to my office, and we can work this out." I told him to "Go work yourself out", and went to my car and drove back to my current employer's and have been with them ever since. I was called about every six months for the next two years from the Sales manager to "Please come back, the GM doesn't think you did it, really." Then was asked by the same manager, to come on back now because the GM had been fired.

THAT would be the most awkard, I guess ?

[TheNiche]

I looked the GM squarely in the eye, and said those two magical words. "I QUIT !" , then I used some more words, " ........and YOU can suck my D*CK !"

THAT would be the most awkard, I guess ?

Maybe he just wanted to take you up on the offer?

[nmainguy]

This by far out-weighs any individual awkward moment-this was a group awkward event:

One day we had a very wealthy Jewish client and his wife come in to talk about a design for gates for their motor court. There was one guy-the pompous know-it-all we all have worked with who just couldn't help himself. The clients wanted to see some photos of old German metal working. Even though I knew we had some, I told them all we had was old books with our metal work. Mr ButtHead chimed in and said: "No! We have an old book in German that has alot of pictures! I'll go get it!" He was out the door before I could stop him. When he came back I gave him a look that said " DO NOT OPEN THAT BOOK! TAKE IT AWAY!"

Well, he didn't open it. He handed it to the client who began flipping through until he saw a pair of beautiful auto gates with ornamentation that looked somewhat like this:

I'm almost sure the Earth twisted a bit on it's axis and time stopped for an instant-everyone just froze. I got up, walked around the table, took the book away, apologized and told the clients I was sure we had something more appropriate for them. No one said a word. When I came back into the conference room, ButtHead was gone and we proceeded as if nothing had happened. God knows how but we kept the client.

[Guest Marty]

I would say the most awkward moment was when i work for Kroger as a stocker on Greens road in the 1990's me and a work buddy had to do janitorial work while waiting for the delivery trucks to show up. the stock controller walk up and said can you boys go clean the restrooms so we knock on the women's restroom door several times nobody answered so i opened the door a said IS ANYBODY HERE. no answer, we went in and started cleaning up and then i heard a cough me and my boy bolted out of their and hid in the manager's office which was the next door until she left.

[MidtownCoog]

When going to UH I worked at "Super Track" for a brief spell.

I was working the counter talking to the manager. I suddenly spied some "fat chicks" checking us out.

He said "what are you looking at"?

I said "those two heffers staring at us".

He said "the blonde one is my girlfriend".

Shades of red!

[CDeb]

When going to UH I worked at "Super Track" for a brief spell.

I was working the counter talking to the manager. I suddenly spied some "fat chicks" checking us out.

He said "what are you looking at"?

I said "those two heffers staring at us".

He said "the blonde one is my girlfriend".

Shades of red!

Oh, snap!

[lockmat]

When going to UH I worked at "Super Track" for a brief spell.

I was working the counter talking to the manager. I suddenly spied some "fat chicks" checking us out.

He said "what are you looking at"?

I said "those two heffers staring at us".

He said "the blonde one is my girlfriend".

Shades of red!

LOL

[TheNiche]

I can beat it. My first big presentation for a MAJOR hotel chain in Houston. Last minute trip to the Ladies Room. Come out to make the presentation, turn around - skirt is tucked into panty hose.

I can never look at him the same after hearing that symphony come out of his rear.

Then I looked the GM squarely in the eye, and said those two magical words. "I QUIT !" , then I used some more words, " ........and YOU can suck my D*CK !"

so we knock on the women's restroom door several times nobody answered so i opened the door a said IS ANYBODY HERE. no answer, we went in and started cleaning up and then i heard a cough me and my boy bolted out of their and hid in the manager's office which was the next door until she left.

I said "those two heffers staring at us".

He said "the blonde one is my girlfriend".

Evidently I'm going to have to live a bit more of my life to be able to beat out most folks on awkward moments. Especially considering how easily things are going on my end.

In particular, I'd like to thank Nmain and MidtownCoog. Those are just classic. But everyone that's contributed (or that will contribute) has really got the balls to be able to fess up to the world and laugh at themselves. I respect that.

[brijonmang]

I don't think I really have anything that lives up to these moments, yet...but thanks to everyone for sharing a laugh!

[PapillionWyngs]

When going to UH I worked at "Super Track" for a brief spell.

I was working the counter talking to the manager. I suddenly spied some "fat chicks" checking us out.

He said "what are you looking at"?

I said "those two heffers staring at us".

He said "the blonde one is my girlfriend".

Shades of red!

You would actually call ANOTHER HUMAN BEING a HEIFFER???????

Begone!

[Scharpe St Guy]

Oh where to start and with which story???

My first real Awkward moment had to be when I was working third level IT Support for a large IT outsourcing company. Arrived at the employee's cubicle and she was no where in sight so I commenced working on the PC. A few minutes later as I'm waiting for items to install something starts moving underneath the desk. Scared the beejebees out of me and out from a large almost sleeping bag comes the lady. She was sleeping under her desk and was pretty well hidden. I laugh all the time when I see that episode on Seinfeld when George hires Jerry's contractor to construct a hideaway under his desk.

As one that is inflicted by Type 1 Diabetes there are also the occasional story's of going loopy (almost like being drunk) and passing out or almost tossing a police officer down the stairwell at the old Enron Building. The Diabetes one's always piss me off since I should have been tighter on my control and prevented it but every now and then one sneaks by and gets me.

Then there was the time when I was hired by a company to write a software application for there largest client in Birmingham Alabama. At the time I was 19 and the senior managers (Chief Counsel, VP of this, VP of that, everybody there but Richard Scrushy) wanted to interview me in the board room and go over the project. I had prepared extensively with a well done slide show, bulleted points, development steps and major key stones, etc.. I had also just purchased one of the very first wireless keyboards/mice so that I could drive the show from where I was.

Approx half way through my presentation one of the head VP's a lady interrupted me and said ok stop stop I just have to ask how old are you? I replied with 19 maam and attempted to restart and she remarked I have kids older then you, and I continued my restart and the presentation, went well though, got the thumbs up and wrote them a few programs. Good fun, also saw my first elevator in the lobby drop to the ground luckly if I had been 15 seconds quicker I would have been on it as I saw the doors close just as I arrived. Tons of smoke, dust, etc... blowing out of the opening in the middle of the sliding doors. Unreal, great experiences.

Scharpe St Guy

[MexAmerican_Moose]

one time at work i had to go to the restroom real bad and do number 2...i usually avoid using any public restrooms but i couldn't take it anymore..so i went and unloaded my fury in the stall and realized that the Toilet didn't work!!! i finished up and left my stuff there and went back to my workspace/cubicle.....then one of my coworkers went in and noticed what was i had left and told me to fix it....the awkward thing was that he helped me!!!

[Montrose1100]

One of my managers likes to go #2 at work... and she thinks its kosher to put the used toliet paper in the trash can, and not the toilet... And she always writes signs everywhere, bitching about something one person did, and act as if we all did it...

Well I wrote a sign "Please do not put used toilet paper in the trash can, that is DISQUSTING!!"

[TJones]

One of my managers likes to go #2 at work... and she thinks its kosher to put the used toliet paper in the trash can, and not the toilet... And she always writes signs everywhere, bitching about something one person did, and act as if we all did it...

Well I wrote a sign "Please do not put used toilet paper in the trash can, that is DISQUSTING!!"

, BLEH ! ACK ! THAT is totally disgusting, where the hell was she brought up ? Maybe she is afraid she'll clog up the toilet or something after crackin' that ham !

[Guest Marty]

I hate when people do that.

[jm1fd]

Oy vey!

[Montrose1100]

, BLEH ! ACK ! THAT is totally disgusting, where the hell was she brought up ? Maybe she is afraid she'll clog up the toilet or something after crackin' that ham !

I think she was scared to plug up the toilet... She was raised in Mexico.

[Mark F. Barnes]

Not really awkward for me, but the guy I was with about wet his paints.

I was an operations manager for Texaco in late 1978 or early 1979, it was cold and some snow was on the ground. I was being given a tour of a new plant in Pennsylvania by an engineer. While I was touring the plant we turned a corner behind a building and there were 4-5 of the operators and/or maintenance folks passing a joint around. The engineer with me, I thought was going to die on the spot, and the dudes with the joint froze. I calmly reached down and took the joint from the fella holding it, smelled of it, and told them, "You guys need to quite smoking this dirt weed, this time of year the Panama Red is good in Texas!", I handed him back the joint, they quickly dispersed and I was led the other way! Don't know what happened to them after that, things were a lot more laxed back then. But I got a hell of a laugh out of it. And that engineer apologized about three thousand times for the rest of the tour. I flew out the next day, and never heard any more on the issue. I doubt they were fired, but I am sure they got their asses ripped really good. Like I said things were more laxed back then.

[ricco67]

I was at work late one night and was fairly new.

I completed my work and explored the rest of the building (it was 11pm or so at night), this got old and I was getting sleepy and started a rousing rendition of Monty Python's "I'm a lumberjack" including skipping along the hallways.

I gotten to a floor singing at the top of my lungs and dancing I was coming around a corner during the final verse to be in full view of an entire department that was burning the late night oil.

So I stood there with my arms out as the last note escaped my lungs as I realized what was before me.

I wanted to disappear as the manager started to clap.

[CypressResident]

I haven't had an extremely awkward moment at work, but this happened to a good friend of mine.

She was talking with a male client about the project they were working on together. And at the end of the conversation, right before she hangs up with him, she says "I love you." I'm sure you all can relate to this automatic instinctive three-word sentence to your loved ones at the end of your phone conversation. It was hilarious! To this day, when I think about it, I laugh out loud.