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How Did You Come Out?


houstonmacbro

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My sister Beverly told me @ Trader Vic's in Honolulu 1982. She told dad in '87 and he never spoke to her or about her ever again. I tried several times to talk to him about it and he never came around. Never even got an answer as to why. He even got sideways with me because she and I are still so close. He took the hate to his grave. One of my real disappointments I had in my father. My daughters think Aunt Bev hung the moon, and one of my twins, Alexis is a wildflower herself. She's had both types of relationships and has never ad the need to come out I guess, because it really doesn't matter what she does or chooses in our household. Some of the old hardliners in our more distant family probably feel otherwise, I know her grandpa would have, that's why she kept it under wraps from him, and in the same instance Lex was never really close to my dad for the same reason. His loss, she's a great kid.

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So you are considered bi then.

For a forum on architecture, and based on the activity of some of the most frequent members, we have a good amount of gay members on HAIF, I count 7!

I've been called many names through the years, some more favorable than others, geek, spaz, homo, nerd, gay, @#%!sucker, and now bi, but the name that I've answered to for the last 22 years or so has been "Dad". All that time back then wondering "is someone going to find out" was really just wasted energy. It's just a blip on the radar screen of life.

Anybody that will hold this against you for "coming out" or being "outed" by someone else, is not really important to you or not your friend and usually has problems themselves.

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but the name that I've answered to for the last 22 years or so has been "Dad".

I call me boyfriend my muscle daddy, or daddy bear. :P

Don't tease, we all have pet names to show affection to our loved ones, like pumpkin, honey, sweetie pie. . .etc.

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and a sweet guy as well.

He must eat a lot of broccoli. I heard that broccoli makes it taste sweet and not bitter.

Likewise red meat has the opposite effect. :lol:

Just messing, glad to see another happy couple on here.

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I call me boyfriend my muscle daddy, or daddy bear. :P

Don't tease, we all have pet names to show affection to our loved ones, like pumpkin, honey, sweetie pie. . .etc.

I never refer to my partner as my 'boyfriend'. I understand and respect the term but it sounds so ... 70s.

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  • 2 months later...

I came out because I had a tiny rainbow flag sticker on the license plate of my

car back in 1995....my Dad saw it and said "Do you support these people??" and

had this awful look on his face, kind of like this :angry2: and I was speechless.

Shortly after, my Mom called to have "the talk." I was 18 and no longer living at home,

but she of course wanted to know what the hell was going on.

I must say that at first it was horrible and very sad the way my parents reacted.

I went in the Navy shortly after and receieved 10 page TYPED letters from my Dad

about how I was going to hell, etc... They thought it was a phase, but turns out the

bible throwing days were a phase. I have been with my partner for close to 10 years now.

They love her dearly and are no longer hateful or homophobic since 1999. Happy times.

Moral of the story, be true yourself (but hold the PDA please, if we wanted to see

that we would watch Skinimax after 11pm). If my parents can come around

anyone can.

Edited by EatSleepMOD
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I came out because I had a tiny rainbow flag sticker on the license plate of my

car back in 1995....my Dad saw it and said "Do you support these people??" and

had this awful look on his face, kind of like this :angry2: and I was speechless.

Shortly after, my Mom called to have "the talk." I was 18 and no longer living at home,

but she of course wanted to know what the hell was going on.

I must say that at first it was horrible and very sad the way my parents reacted.

I went in the Navy shortly after and receieved 10 page TYPED letters from my Dad

about how I was going to hell, etc... They thought it was a phase, but turns out the

bible throwing days were a phase. I have been with my partner for close to 10 years now.

They love her dearly and are no longer hateful or homophobic since 1999. Happy times.

Moral of the story, be true yourself (but hold the PDA please, if we wanted to see

that we would watch Skinimax after 11pm). If my parents can come around

anyone can.

My dad started out like that, but is still not to that point.

I am glad you are out, but why set yourself up for hate crimes with a rainbow sticker.

I won't even put an equality sticker on, just because of the intolerant environment we live in.

It is getting better, but all you need is some prejudice drunk @sshole to hurt you in a parking lot.

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My dad started out like that, but is still not to that point.

I am glad you are out, but why set yourself up for hate crimes with a rainbow sticker.

I won't even put an equality sticker on, just because of the intolerant environment we live in.

It is getting better, but all you need is some prejudice drunk @sshole to hurt you in a parking lot.

Agreed. I think as we progress sometimes it feels we move backwards. I am not out, but I am not in either. I guess it depends on the people I meet and the circumstances I find myself in. If I trust someone (something I do very slowly) it is not an issue to come out ... if I feel in the least bit that a person cannot be trusted, then my personal life is off limits.

That said if I saw them out while I was with my partner, I wouldn't run and hide, and would in fact introduce them.

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I actually wanted to go to U of H, but I hate the big classes. ACU has very small class sizes, and the professors are really friendly and interact with every student. And thats what I was really looking for when I went to college, since I have horrible ADD. And I know I'll make new friends there, most everyone is friendly, and not everyone is hardcore christian. Alot of girls go there to meet rich guys that they will eventually marry & raise a family with, and vise versa. I think PlayBoy rated it the "3rd Hottest College"... not that it matters to me, but there are alot of... 'balanced' and intellegent people.

^_^ Thank you for your concern, Its nice to know theres alot of HAIF-ers that care.

Hi Montrose1100,

did you ever consider attending the University of St. Thomas? Although it is a Catholic university, it is full of diversity- an assortment of eclectic people, the classes are very small, the education and the classes that they offer are pretty decent, and it is of course located in Montrose. It might be something for you to consider since the fall semester is coming up soon. Good luck to you!

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First came out to 2 girl friends senior year at work. One of them was vaguely trying to ask me something personal over MS Office email, and I thought she was trying to ask me if I was gay. Eventually I said yeah, I like guys. Apparently I later found out she was trying to ask me if I liked my other friend lol.

Eventually the friends I've met since are either gay or gay-friendly.

I haven't told my parents but I think somehow they know. Myspace page probably gave my sisters more insight to it, and who knows if my parents have asked them to show them my page.

My mom sometimes does say remarks about really flamboyant guys shown on tv, and I can't blame her for reacting with "look at that :wacko: " when we saw a lesbian couple making out outside an Olive Garden. For the most part I strongly think they would be very ok with it, maybe a little uncomfortable, but we're not really 95092835% religious fanatics either. They would probably just worry about me. It still feels very weird for me to actually tell them though.

Add another to the single list -_-

Edited by flyingman
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Guest Marty
Thank you for reaffirming that. :rolleyes:

I am not trying to hate on you puma it's just the ladies find me irresistible, just look at me in this pic.

4mupcuo.gif

Edited by Marty
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Guest Marty
He must eat a lot of broccoli. I heard that broccoli makes it taste sweet and not bitter.

Likewise red meat has the opposite effect. :lol:

Just messing, glad to see another happy couple on here.

I thought this was a thread about how you was born, C section or natural birth until i read this disgusting post earlier.^^^^^^

I came out when I was 2. My mom would always hand me forks and spoons in my right hand, and I would secretly switch them to my left hand to eat, and....Oh, wait. You mean....?

Never mind. :unsure:

Edited by Marty
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I am glad you are out, but why set yourself up for hate crimes with a rainbow sticker.

I won't even put an equality sticker on, just because of the intolerant environment we live in.

It is getting better, but all you need is some prejudice drunk @sshole to hurt you in a parking lot.

I totally agree. This is when I was 18, and I am 30 now. I have not had a sticker on since...

well I take that back...I did a few years back when those magnets came out that you could take

off...but back then my hair was REAL short and a guy was following me around and staring at me.

I think he thought I was a boy...ha! So I took that chit off and it has never graced my car since.

I figured out I did not have to "label" myself to identify. Your concern is very sweet by the way.

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I totally agree. This is when I was 18, and I am 30 now. I have not had a sticker on since...

well I take that back...I did a few years back when those magnets came out that you could take

off...but back then my hair was REAL short and a guy was following me around and staring at me.

I think he thought I was a boy...ha! So I took that chit off and it has never graced my car since.

I figured out I did not have to "label" myself to identify. Your concern is very sweet by the way.

I never had any trouble in Houston with rainbow flags or the HRC's equal sign. I did have someone get really mad at my sister and I but that was because she had a sticker that read,

BUSH

PEOPLE

SUCK!

The man screamed at my sister and flipped her off. My sister rolled down her window and said rather politely, "See, it's true. You do suck."

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I never had any trouble in Houston with rainbow flags or the HRC's equal sign. I did have someone get really mad at my sister and I but that was because she had a sticker that read,

BUSH

PEOPLE

SUCK!

The man screamed at my sister and flipped her off. My sister rolled down her window and said rather politely, "See, it's true. You do suck."

Too funny. I saw a bumper sticker that said "Republicans are people too...mean, selfish, greedy people" http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/media/MA-Re...icansPeople.jpg

Of course it was as mindlessly all-encompansing of Republicans as was our resident closet case's reference to The Olive Garden. We'd be glad to treat our gay brother Musicman to a better than mediocre meal at Olive garden any day of the week-except Fridays.

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Musicman is gay too? I think I am outnumbered here on HAIF.

You're not out numbered...I still contend most here are straight. Music is just stuck locked in the closet with the key and clueless how to get out.

Edited by nmainguy
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You're not out numbered...I still contend most here are straight. Music is just stuck locked in the closet with the key and clueless how to get out.

I think as far as active members go, we are pretty even.

Gays love architectural details and urban improvements!

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Of course it was as mindlessly all-encompansing of Republicans as was our resident closet case's reference to The Olive Garden. We'd be glad to treat our gay brother Musicman to a better than mediocre meal at Olive garden any day of the week-except Fridays.

I'm missing the whole Olive Garden thing. Inside joke?

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  • 2 weeks later...

So... I was in Scotland visiting my dad... and my brother warns me about a specific conversation my dad wants to have with me. Which came as a shock, since I thought I hid it from my brother the best. My dad never came around, he was too nervous. We did have a conversation about college and stuff, and he kept asking me if there was anything I wanted to tell him.

Turns out he wanted to have a conversation about STD's and getting raped. This is what I have been scared about for the past 5 years of my life? My dad sterotyping homosexual STD's? Would have been nice to know earlier.

Anyways, he told me that some gay guys have like 30 to 40 partners a day, and don't use condoms. And that its easier to get a disease from a guy. And that I will probibly get raped if I go out to the clubs. I couldn't help but laugh! 30 to 40 partners a day?!? LOL does he think gay guys are machines? The raping thing made me laugh too.

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Anyways, he told me that some gay guys have like 30 to 40 partners a day, and don't use condoms. And that its easier to get a disease from a guy. And that I will probibly get raped if I go out to the clubs. I couldn't help but laugh! 30 to 40 partners a day?!? LOL does he think gay guys are machines? The raping thing made me laugh too.

I know right ... I guess we all are just sex crazed, meth taking nympho addicts who "can't get enough."

Hilarious!

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Anyways, he told me that some gay guys have like 30 to 40 partners a day, and don't use condoms. And that its easier to get a disease from a guy. And that I will probibly get raped if I go out to the clubs. I couldn't help but laugh! 30 to 40 partners a day?!? LOL does he think gay guys are machines? The raping thing made me laugh too.

I would ask him the question, what porno movies has he been watchin???

I have seen those group sex porns where guys to that, but that is what it is and I doubt anyone has done it in real life.

How else would he even think to ask that question?

Your dad is really unaware how normal gay relationships can be.

I had sex with one woman 5 times in 8 hours.

Breeder. . . . . :P

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