firefighter Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Dear Lord, So far today, I'm - doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or overindulged in any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card. But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think that I will really need your help then. - unknown author Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanne Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 That is so funny. Thanks for sharing that. This is going to be a really interesting thread, and I will be back to post a few jokes of my own (for the life of me I can't seem to be able to think of one right now...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firefighter Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 The Christian Barber There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door." Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, "I want a shave!" The barber said, "Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen." Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying "Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esther Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 That is so funny! This is a really great idea to have a thread just for jokes. We could all do with a bit of humor in our lives especially these days when life just seems like a race that you can never win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firefighter Posted October 26, 2016 Author Share Posted October 26, 2016 Golf in Heaven A cleric found himself wondering whether there were any golf courses in Heaven. He even began to ask the question in his prayers. One day, in answer to his prayers, he received a direct answer from on high. "Yes," said the Heavenly messenger, "There are many excellent golf courses in Heaven. The greens are always in first class condition, the weather is always perfect and you always get to play with the very nicest people." "Oh, thank you," said the cleric, "That really is marvelous news." "Yes, isn't it?" replied the messenger, "And we've got you down for a foursome next Saturday." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkultra25 Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Jesus walks into an inn, slaps three nails down on the counter, and says to the innkeeper, "Can you put me up for the night?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trymahjong Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 What do you call the fear of getting into an elevator filled with Nuns? . . . . . . . . . . . Cloisterphobia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firefighter Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanne Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firefighter Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 That's funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanne Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Classic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sporty Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 These are all so funny. I was thinking about my personal arsenal of jokes and this thread made me realize that I have to clean up my mind a little. Most of the jokes I know I couldn't post here. How sad, but it's great that I realized that when I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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